Star Wars M&Ms

"Financial Planners" Amongst the Sheep

What do you do when there is a "financial planner" foraging amongst your DG members or churchmates?

What if you know as fact that the risks of "financial planning" include:

• the inefficiency and inaccuracy of financial planning models (one study by KPMG found that 95% of certain models had significant errors, another by PwC found 91% of certain models tested had major errors that affected bottomline numbers by more than 5%!);
• the incompetency of many financial planners in using financial planning models;
  
• the dishonesty, lack of principle and flouting of fiduciary duties by most financial planners who are paid by commission on sales. Studies have shown that financial planners often recommended the most expensive products to boost their own pay;
  
• whatever other risks you would associate with relying on tarot cards and tea leaves to plan your future (if you think this is too harsh, Forbes hired five highly recommended and impressively credentialled financial advisors to prepare a comprehensive financial plan for a 52 year old executive with a net worth of about US$2.0 million. Not surprisingly, the advice ranged all over the map. One planner said put 76% of assets in stocks, another only 20%. The moral of this story? It's important for investors to understand that like soothsaying, financial planning is not a science);
  

and what if you also know for fact that this particular "financial planner":

• despite the fact that irresponsible practice of financial planning might do incalculable damage to people's finances and in some circumstances imperil their lives, is not adequately trained;
• is working on a commission-basis, so it is imperative to her livelihood that the targets buy the products whether or not they really need them;
• badgers almost everyone she knows in church to "meet and talk";
• appears friendly and caring and good friends with her targets but "drops [them] like a hot potato" when they refuse to discuss financial planning with her;
  
• has pressured people (because she cares for them and it's good for them and it's all "tailored to their needs and goals", of course) into buying products that they now realise they don't need but can't stop paying hefty monthly payments on because of the cutthroat penalty for default?
  

Some people have noted that they could understand the thoughts of this "financial planner"; ARPC is a financial planner's free buffet: so many people are in good paying jobs, young enough not to have started to plan their finances, have cash to spare, are naïve, idealistic and undiscerning enough not to doubt the word and intention of a Christian sister.

I spoke with her DG leader several months ago he agreed that it was not a good state of affairs but he thought we shouldn't discourage her because even if she had improper motives for coming to church and to DG, at least she would continue to have a chance to hear the gospel. And anyway, the people in church were adults and should be able to take care of themselves. We don't have to molly-coddle them from the world like the PAP does Singapore (or used to anyway).

But shouldn't the church, the gathering of God's people, be a place of rest from the world? Can we sit by and see this sort of thing happening without doing something about it? What about those people who have been and will be used and abused by her both financially and emotionally? What about the new people exploring church life who will be turned away by this sort of predatory behaviour?

Baaah!

arpc

Christ is Risen...So What's the Difference?

Batam Weekend and Massage Ramblings

No, it's not what you think.

What were you thinking anyway?!

A quick glance and sniff at the coastal tides convinced us that watersports at Waterfront were indeed to be buried deep in the bowels of Batam history.

Batam has that ubiquitous look of developing countries: dusty sandy roads, skeletal remains of half-constructed buildings, kampung houses with TV antennae, garish new tiled buildings jostling with scruffy old rundowns, age-old slums at the feet of symbols of conspicious consumption, stray dogs sniffing around cab drivers in old caps hailing you as you walk down in street,"Teksi? Teksi?". We could have been in Phnom Penh, Ho Chi Minh City or Johor Bahru. (The Hawaiian shirts on the backs of Batam teksi drivers, however, are a local marker.)

Contributed to the economy by going for a massage at Tea Tree Spa; that which was voted "Best Indonesian Spa" by SpaAsia last year. Generally known to be of a ticklish nature, I almost relinquished the title of "Kicker of Masseurs". Think I might have actually liked the ambient music, the gliding and kneading and the soak in the jacuzzi after.

The history of massage is intriguing. First documented accounts of massage date back to 3,000BC in China. Japanese shiatsu is an offshoot of the Chinese art. Independently or not, massage was also part of Ayurvedic medicine 1,700BC India. A hop over a big pond, American Indians, those genetic cousins of the Chinese, used to rubdown their warriors, pregnant women and infants. Similarly, the ancient Greeks (and their cultural ape-ers, the Romans) took to massage in a big way, made easier no doubt by those togas and many times, the lack thereof.

In their attempt to beef up the credibility of this seemingly hedonistic practice, some massage manuals have suggested that the term "lay on hands" was used in the Bible to denote the practice of massage. That makes for really interesting reading: in the account of Joseph (of the Multi-coloured Coat fame), one brother would have actually said to the rest of the nasties,"Come, let's sell him to the Ishmaelites and not massage him; after all, he is our brother, our own flesh and blood." (Genesis 37:27). The instructions in Numbers would actually have meant "After the Levites massaged the heads of the bulls, use the one for a sin offering to the LORD and the other for a burnt offering, to make atonement for the Levites." (Numbers 8:12). In Mark 6:5, Jesus really massaged a few people and so healed them (what better testimony to the benefits of massage?). In the early church, the apostles and elders of churches didn't just wimpily place their hands on the person they were commissioning...they gave them a deep-body massage.

Right.

What utter hogwash. We all know of course that what really happened in a real Early Church commissioning was: once the potential commissionee walked into the commissioning room, Peter would gleefully yell "TAUPOK!" from his shadowy corner and the apostles and elders would pile their unwashed bodies on the unsuspecting victim.

Easter Talks

Someone's sleepy notes of the Easter talks were written on a trayliner.

Since the hosts did not deem it necessary to give her note paper, she fished out a Delifrance trayliner of dubious history (having already spent a long life with her as a bookmark) and proceeded nonchalantly to scribble on the reverse. True stewardship of resources? Or just kiam siap? ;-)

Then there is word that a certain pastor's clerical collar was in its previous life part of the back of a foolscap pad before it was converted (using the edge of a magazine as a ruler) to its present use.

***************************

At the end of the second Easter talk, Mike Raiter's challenge was that just as Jesus was faced with 2 choices, and Pilate was faced with 2 choices: truth or lie?, and the Jews were faced with 2 choices: God or state?, so we are faced with 2 choices: to follow the truth and so follow God, or follow the lie.

He went on to speak about his own life and how he was called to serve in Pakistan. As the day of departure drew nearer, he became more and more reluctant to leave his cosy life Down Under. Then one day, God spoke to him and basically gave him that same challenge. You can't call God "God" and say he's your creator and the ruler of the universe on one hand and then on the other decide you'd rather not obey him, thank you very much.

We asked Mike what he meant when he said that God spoke to him. He explained that we get too jumpy when people talk about God speaking to us now. Yes, the Bible is the final and sufficient revelation of God and we should expect no further word. We should make our decisions based on what God has said in the Bible and we know we are doing his will if we do so.

But we cannot limit God. In Mike's case, he was lying in bed when a "loud thought" came to him. It wasn't a voice he could hear or a strong conviction. It was a "loud thought". It took him days to get over it and he was very sure it was from God. He hasn't had such an experience before and doesn't expect another again. He gets his guidance from the Bible and the counsel of godly friends.

*********************

Mike also mentioned that the Jews acknowledged absolutely that Caesar not God was their king (and so voted to kill Jesus) at the 6th hour (John 19:14) which, if you look at the Old Testament was when the preparations for killing the Passover Lamb commenced. He's not sure where in the OT. Got his info from a commentary.

Evangelistic Bible Study Alumni and Newbies

Strange confluence of evangelistic bible study newbies and alumni in a day.

Something Old
Had lunch with alumni from one of my first few evangelistic bible studies. Was told of impending divorce of an alumnus who said then, years ago, that she did want to believe in Jesus but subsequently declined to do anything about that resolution. Her reported reasons for asking for a divorce were the neglect of her husband and that the consequence of remaining with him rendered her unable to be open to opportunities for better partners. Her husband has been neither verbally nor physically abusive. He hasn't committed adultery and isn't dependent on her financially. He just hasn't been around most of the time. They have 2 young children. He doesn't want her to leave.

I was distressed.

Someone tried to comfort me saying that it was alright because:

1. of the commonality of divorce in modern times;
2. Jesus' teaching forbidding divorce has no relevance in this day and age when women can look after themselves;
3. the impending divorce wife ("IDW") in question may not be Christian so we shouldn't impose our "Christian laws" on her;
4. I am single and cannot understand what marrieds go through; and
5. divorce is no worse sin than any other sin.
   

In fact, she had encouraged IDW to go ahead and end the marriage, agreeing that strong, financially-independent women of today should move on in life if the relationship doesn't turn out as was expected at the wedding.

It was getting a bit heated and I had to admit that as a single, I wouldn't know what marrieds go through. But neither would one married couple know what another goes through because every marriage is unique. What I do know is what God tells me in the Bible and I trust that his version of reality is true because he's the one that made the everything.

I wasn't judging IDW. I just very strongly feared that she and her children would be even worse off after the divorce because this decision would take them in the exact opposite of God's directions in his instruction manual, the Bible.

As far as I know in my limited knowledge, the prohibition on divorce (Matthew 19, Mark 10) is not an arbitrary moral law designed to hold the community together, for the social good. Instead, it explains how God designed the universe, specifically, marriage. And the specifications are that when a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). God has designed it such that husband and wife are bonded together irrevocably on all levels (physically, mentally, spiritually etc) so that divorce is just like attempting to tear off part of yourself and is sure to deeply hurt both parties.

It's not some strict archaic law that is no longer relevant or that is only relevant to some cult groups. It's the very fabric of the way men and women are made and so applies regardless of generation or beliefs.

In my misspent days as a human rights activist (pro-choice, pro-divorce), I had great arguments in class with Jewish professors on divorce. They showed me good evidence that people and children who remain in "bad marriages" (which are not physically violent) are less psychologically traumatised and suffer from less major health problems than those in divorced families. I could never find credible statistics to the contrary.

God should know.

Something New
Then had dinner with someone who was keen on investigating Christianity. We started the series of studies with John 1 to introduce Jesus. Using John 1 is really not as silly an idea as it may first appear. Really quite clear and understandable if you take little nibbles at a time. Thank God it went quite well and newbie was still cheerful and eager for more. Couldn't help but marvel at the profound simplicity of God's word and its universal perspicuity. Good stuff.

Heresy of AIDS and Homosexuality

Now that the relationship between AIDS and homosexuality is again a hot topic for discussion, some daft Christians are sure to repeat that age-old heresy of AIDS being God's judgment on homosexual sinners.

Utter nonsense and hogwash! says the Bible.

Sure God judges. But the reality is that he judges not by discouraging us from sinning but by leaving us in our sin.

"For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.

Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshipped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.

For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.

And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Though they know God's decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them." (Romans 1:18-32)

It is those homosexuals who live seemingly smooth healthy lives indulging in their specific sin to die only of old age who are conspiciously under God's wrath. He has judged them by giving them up to their dishonorable passions and left them there.

That's a sobering thought for those of us who manifest our sinfulness, our rebellion against God in other ways. When nothing uncomfortable happens to us, we think God can't/doesn't see what we are doing. In fact, his judgement might be right upon us by leaving us to dig deeper and deeper into our own eternal punishment.

Soothing

Soothing

Still effective after all these years... Was first introduced by force courtesy of our choral director who made us literally drink bottles of this in the months of 9am-5pm practice leading to our first performance of Vivaldi's "Gloria" ("line up at the grand piano!", "one tablespoonful each!", "who put chewing gum in this girl's hair?!", "don't pretend to go to toilet!", "of course it's halal!"). So the two are forever and irreconcilably linked in my mind. More irreconcilable is the recipe for Nin Jiom Chocolate Chiffon Cake.

Hooray for my DG!

Horray for my DG who despite all fears seem to be on the right track after all!

Unlike my last DG, whom I knew from their infancy of JFN, the present motley crew has been mysterious and shy and reserved from the time they were cobbled together. Sure, from the wobbly beginnings of having to flog dead horses, lead them to water and force them to drink (to mix and misquote metaphors horribly), they've learnt over time, in their own silent detached ways, to more or less find their way through the bible and give the right answers to questions. But was God's word bearing fruit in their lives? They have been too busy to meet up. New families, new jobs, important commitments. I've spent months worrying, wringing hands in despair, pacing about at night, troubled about their relationship with God, unsure if their lives were turned towards Christ and his kingdom.

I of little faith.

Amazed at their sudden enthusiasm and outspokenness in our last study and their earnest and open discussion about prayer (indication at least that some part of their life seeks after God), I suddenly realised the reality of one of the main ideas of Mark's chiastic sandwich of Mark 7-8 (healing of deaf and mute man-teaching about deafness and blindness of disciples and Pharisees-healing of blind man): Jesus healed the deaf and mute man; Jesus healed the blind man; implication: Jesus could and would heal the spiritually deaf and blind (ie. those who did not really really understand who he was and what he had come to do)! [If you think spiritual deafness and blindness is reading too much into the passage, see Isaiah 32:3-4.]

Who can and will open the eyes of me and my DG to the living God? Why God of course, who has the ability and is willing to give his children all good things. Who can and will keep our hearts turned towards him? Why God of course, through Jesus Christ, in the Holy Spirit.

Horray for the Trinity!

arpc

Judging/Being discriminating about Sermons

Comparing doodles made during the course of the sermon this weekend, we had to grapple with the discrimination vs judgmentalism problem again.

At first, there were strong defensive arguments that we should not discuss the sermon negatively; that we should allow the young preacher time to improve and that youthful looks was the reason for his lack of credibility.

After about an hour, however, we all agreed that much as we may be fond of the preacher and not want to discourage him, we must not allow this to colour an objective analysis of the sermon.

Many were wary of being seen as judgemental (that Sermon on the Mount Matthew 7 no-no). Jesus' command of non-judgementalism however appears to have nothing to do with espousing moral relativism, nor tossing brains out the window (straight after, he also commands us not to throw pearls before swine. Obedience to this command surely requires some discrimination).

It is not analysis that we must be cautious about, but the spirit in which we approach such analysis. We should discriminate with the humility of knowing that we too are absolute failures in God’s eyes and that if we were in such a circumstance, if not for the grace of God, we too might foul up in the same way, for Jesus warns us that the standard which we use to judge, we ourselves will be judged. Certainly the renewed mind the Spirit gives us as Christians should allow us to perceive correctly our own modest position.

However, preaching is a public ministry and so by its nature, affects many more people. Imagine the impact of bad preaching turning away a newcomer, a friend who after much persuasion agreed to come to service…just once…, or a back-slidden Christian tentatively returning for service for the first time…Yes God is sovereign and he will save whom he will save. But we are also held responsible for the consequences of our actions. If we stumble others, we will have to account to God for that. If we allow preachers to stumble others, we will also have to account to God for that.

Poor young preacher. We do love him and pray he'll improve. Or conceivably that there will be people to vet his sermons before they come out. Or perhaps that another staffworker more gifted in preaching will take over these duties so he can concentrate on areas in which he has more talent. Who'll put the bell on the cat?

Alas...the shadowlands...

Side Effects of Being Christian

On one of our weekly late night jazz drives, someone noted that one of the side benefits of being Christian and learning to lead bible studies is the translatability to the workplace of the social and intellectual skills learnt: presenting information in a clear but faithful manner, always backed up with evidence, and dealing with antagonistic people calmly and with dignity and love. I think this works as well for people who do not lead but learn to read the bible for themselves and to love their DG mates.

Would it be complete misrepresentation to put out an ad for courses in presentation and EQ and then teach eager students the gospel? Many a missionary has gone into a "closed country" as an English teacher and taught English from the bible.

Noticed another side effect this week. Faced with an "important" board meeting and a bible study on the same day, realised that I lack the same fear of the higher echelons of the corporate food chain as many others and seem to be have been shielded from the nervous, too-loud laughter at jokes of the powers-that-be and the scurrying around and hasty promises of acquiring the moon and the stars. I can speak to the richest man in Singapore as to an equal, without bowing or scraping.

An idea for a course in self-confidence? Perhaps. Self-confidence that can only come not from any power of positive-thinking and self-valuation of myself in grand Rollo May style, but with knowing and being known by the Creator and having a relationship with One who is above all powers and authorities. This, surely, is freedom indeed.

The Dim Sum Diaries (Part V - Snacks)

Hong Kong has long developed its own snack culture: a blend of East and West, proper and junk food.

Milk tea (nai cha) is the local brew that got us through many a blustery day. Like proper teh, it is made by blending tea leaves and brewing them in a long metal container for hours. The stocking-like cotton bag filters out the leaves before the milk is added. Nai cha is served almost anywhere. At its worst, it tasted like very strong and good teh-si-kosong. At its best at Lan Fong Yuen, who practically invented this drink, it was a magical brew of great strength and smoothness. A hot french toast sandwich oozing with kaya and topped with melting butter was a perfect accompaniment. Lan Fong Yuen also did great pork chop with instant noodles: the pork was so tender I thought it was chicken at first.

Yuan yang at Saint's Alp [sic] Teahouse was an epitome of smoothness as well despite what initially seemed a confused drink of coffe and tea.

Assuring me it was a Hong Kong staple and no food trip would be complete without it, Hong Kong friends practically had to tie me down and feed me the dubiously-named Ginger with Steamed Milk. Spluttering, I could only mumble that it lacked the tea that would transform it into a very good teh halia.

Just off Lan Kwai Fong, almost everything on the menu at Hang Fa Lau is good. They have a cold dessert of pomelo, mango and sago called Yang Zhi Gan Lu (here I revert to Mandarin) to which I was addicted. It's not on the menu.

Tak Seng Hou Egg Rolls were the best I've tasted. Brought a big tin back for my colleagues and I can hear the tin being cracked open throughout the day. Brought some to bible study and it was well-employed for illustrative discussions on predestination, election and human responsibility. It's (the egg rolls, not the bible study) fluffy and crunchy and much more pleasant than our hard splintering love-letters. The coconut flavour's best.

At 10 degrees at night with a steady cold wind sweeping down the streets, there was nothing better than to be able chew at Ben & Jerry's scoop on a cone at leisure, not worrying about it melting into a sodden mess on our shoes if left unattended.

The mango desserts at Hui Lau San are addictive.

Lan Fong Yuen
Gage Street, Central

Saint's Alp Teahouse
almost everywhere

Hang Fa Lau
D'Aguilar Street, Central

Tak Seng Hou
64 Java Road, North Point

Ben & Jerry's
D'Aguilar Street, Central

The Dim Sum Diaries (Part IV - Noodles and Rice and some noodling around)

The carbo dishes in Hong Kong seemed far superior. Perhaps, like the foods of Waverley Root's France, Chinese food can be regionalised not by geography but by the oil/fat used in the cooking. The lard used in so much Singaporean Chinese food is heavy and weighs you down in the hot and muggy air here. Hong Kong Chinese food is more qing. The vegetable oil and crisp air make eating a much less ponderous and tiring affair.

Wonton Noodles

Mak Ngan Kay
Wellington Street
Noodles were thin and smooth. Stock was rich. Wonton skin was velvety, meat was succulent.

The wonton soup at Yung Kee was delicious as well. Cooked in stock made from the geese sold there.

Beef Brisket Noodles
Yuan Kee
18 Granville Road
Slow-stewed beef melted in the mouth.

Fried Rice
Fung Shing Restaurant
62-68 Java Road, North Point; 749 Nathan Road, Mongkok

Wonderful "Rich Boy Fried Rice". Rice fried with chopped spring onion and scallop, tomato, scrambled egg and prawns, flash-wrapped with wok hei. Shiok. It was apparently invented some 50 years ago for rich playboys to tank up for the long energetic night ahead.

Celebrated with this dish after an exhibition of Chao Shao-An's paintings at the Hong Kong Heritage Museum. While alive, he was one of the great propagators of the Ling-Nan school, making trips around Asia, America and Europe with all the fervour of an evangelist. While Tan Kian Por sat in his wife's studio worrying about money and not selling his paintings, yet to be conferred the recognition of the Cultural Medellion, Chao Shao-An's art blazed like the epitome of beauty for me. So I approached the exhibition with the trepidation of one returning to his favourite restaurant back in his hometown after decades abroad, unsure of what he will find, uncertain if his memory has elevated the past to a pedestal that present reality can never fulfil. I feared unnecessarily. The masterworks looked just as good...no, better...than when we last met years ago. Over lunch, I toasted a grubby cup to Chao Shao-An, and wondered, sadly, for all his kindness and humility, if we would ever meet under the new heaven, on the new earth.

The Manets, Monets and Renoirs cobbled together from the Musee d'Orsay and put on show at the Hong Kong Museum of Art were nice but too politely bland after that.

The Dim Sum Diaries (Part II - Dim Sum)
The Dim Sum Diaries (Part III - Birds and Pigs)
The Dim Sum Diaries (Part V - Snacks)

The Dim Sum Diaries (Part III - Birds and Pigs)

Being hearty healthy ravenous people, just the thing after a long cold face-numbing hike in the hills or along the dark city streets was the beckoning fragrance of a freshly roasted bird or pig, just off the spit.

Due to pollution control regulations, very few places are now allowed to roast their meat over charcoal fires. Wing Yup Lung is one of the few remaining restaurants with a permit to do so. They are well-known among locals for their roast pork and goose. The pork was crispy and moist and the skin of the goose came off easily from the tender flesh. (Detractors say this is achieved by the insertion of a bicycle pump just under the skin before the goose is carved up. But the meat is delish regardless.)

The fast turnover ensures that the meat is always fresh and hot from the spit. While we were there, a whole pig was brought in, still steaming from his restful sizzling over the fire. He was hung on a hook, almost reaching the oily floor tiles, and sliced open immediately still dripping with his own delicious fat and served to ogling customers.

We could not miss an expedition to Yung Kee of course. Trooped into the restaurant after a long nippy hike up to the Peak and a chilly stroll some way round it. The goose came when our numbed faces had thawed in the warmth of the boisterous chatter of families around us and small cups of hot tea. Preserved egg and ginger were served as appetisers.

Yung Kee apparently started as a roadside stall catering to seamen in the 1940s. But good roast geese can't be kept down and people started flocking to this institution. Yung Kee is another place with a permit to continue roasting their lovely geese over charcoal fires; fresh geese tender from their diet of maize from the family farm on the mainland. Flew some home.

They were flavourful and roasted to just the right crisp without dryness. Moist and succulent with a hint of gamey aftertaste.

When we moved our field HQ to the New Territories, we set up camp in Sha Tin, minutes away from the famous roast pigeon of Lung Wah Hotel Restaurant. Red lanterns led the way past cockatoos, pigeons and a peacock (hmmm...wonder how he would taste...) to a crowded restaurant lit by flourescent lights. The roast pigeon was wonderful and juicy. Too little meat though. Maybe the peacock would have done the trick...

The salt-baked chicken at Chuen Cheung Kui Restaurant was mind-blowing. Mostly reluctant to venture beyond the suppleness of the mid-wing joint (never understood the chicken breast phenomena), I couldn't comprehend how so much white meat could be so tender and soaked with taste. Walloped about half the plate before anyone had the presence of mind to take a photo.

Yet somehow, all these birds can't seem to compare in my memory, to the roast duck from Four Seasons in Queensway, London. Almost cried when I ate that one starving student winter. Have never tasted anything like that since. Remembrance of Things Past would have been far thicker if Proust had dined on roast bird instead of nibbling at an insipid madeleine.

PS: It is often suggested that birds be poached/steamed before roasting to ensure tender flesh and crisp skin. Like Nigella Lawson's mother, I'm fairly confident of a lemon and an onion up the butt. Lawson quotes Kafka's (Barbara that is) suggestion of high-heat blitzing. Does anyone in Singapore even own an Aga?

The Dim Sum Diaries (Part II - Dim Sum)
The Dim Sum Diaries (Part IV - Noodles and Rice and some noodling around)
The Dim Sum Diaries (Part V - Snacks)

Wing Yup Lung
392 Portland Street, Mongkok

Yung Kee
32-40 Wellington Street, Central

Lung Wah Hotel Restaurant
22 Ha Wo Che, Sha Tin

Chuen Cheung Kui Restaurant
108-120 Percival Street, Causeway Bay

The Dim Sum Diaries (Part II - Dim Sum)

Have been tasked to write a report on our Good Eats Exercise in Hong Kong. Here it is. Like the Gospels (though not nearly as interesting or important), it's not in chronological order.

Dim Sum
The advance party of our jolly contingent landed at Hong Kong International Airport at 1029 hours and was promptly shot at by a pale-faced member of the airport staff...with a thermometer gun. Well-trained to withstand such psychological warfare from the locals, the advance party proceeded unfazed to identify a suitable dim sum feeding ground for the main contingent: a branch of Maxim's in the Departure Hall. The ladies still toddled around with little metal carts, touting their wares at each table; like yum cha back in the old days in Singapore when Mayflower was still in business and Red Star was known by all. The char siew bao had just the right bite, solid juicy char siew (not burnt, not too sweet, not stained too red, not too much fat, not barbequed too long) nestled in firm fluffy white clouds.

A similar offering at Luk Yu, that grand dowager of Hong Kong teahouses, was a bit too solidly built, probably able to withstand being hurled by a gentleman at his philandering spendthrift son without soiling their respective tailored cloths. But they were still a world away from that soggy oversteamed overly-sweetened mess we get from the glass-cases in Singapore coffeeshops. Even the baos from shops along the street, where you can rest your weary feet and soak in some tea after a long browse in the night markets, were quite good. No glimpse of dodgy red-stained mince but thick slices of barbequed pork sitting in heavy meat liquor with a hint of pork belly.

The bamboo trays in which the baos were steamed imparted a finishing fragrance to the superior ingredients and preparation; perfume that enveloped like a cloud when the lids were lifted.

Of all exotic things that always seem to taste like chicken, the chicken feet (ordered by the main contingent) tasted like...feet... My comrades informed me that they were luscious.

The egg tarts I could appreciate, were heavenly: a flaky crust with the right crunch that melted in the mouth and a custard that did not taste overwhelmingly like the horrible steamed egg that children used to be force-fed in the questionable belief that such muck was nourishing.

Didn't like the egg tarts at Tai Cheong Bakery though. Chris Patten's favourite, we're told. But what kind of taste did the good man have? A public schoolboy's it seems. Nice enough crust (not flaky but firm and buttery) on the tarts (ignoring the burnt bits) but the custard was steamed to a jiggly death and whiffed of puke. Just what a proper Englishman, who likes his veggies boiled into submission, would adore.

Luk Yu's siew mai was quite alright. Thin tight skin and juicy filling. Not too salty.

Even the Maxim's Fast Food one was lovely (though can't say the same for the rest of the "Happy Meal"). The skin was even more thinly stretched over the silky pork within. The best chee cheong fun we had was at Maxim's. Buoyed by a modest sea of soya sauce with a touch of fried shallot oil, they practically slithered down our throats. The XO chee cheong fun at Hang Fa Lau was interestingly spicy (too la for the Hong Kongers though).

Unfortunately, the experiment with a hole-in-the-wall at Stanley failed miserably. The skin was too floury and thick. Accompanying sauces were interesting though: the usual black sweet sauce, fried shallot oil and toasted sesame seed sprinkles and peanut butter!

For an authentic old Hong Kong yum cha experience, Luk Yu beat all for old world atmosphere: Sikh doormen, booths out of a Wong Kar Wai movie, ancient worn wood-panelling and antique glass, regulars known by name, their personal teapots prepared in anticipation of their arrival, leisurely reading the morning papers…

Dim sum has certainly come along way from the time when imperial physicians in the 3rd century considered it anathema to combine tea with food, warning that such practice would lead to excessive weight gain. In Hong Kong, dim sum, though universally enjoyed, is not quite a great social leveller. In fact, its place and pace of consumption implies class-differentiation: at dirty street corners, wearily, by tired manual labourers looking for a quick bite before heading home, and unhurriedly, with the morning papers, in poshy stiff teahouses by the leisure classes.

Yum cha which was apparently conceived by weary travellers along the Silk Route, soon found its home in the dainty nibbles of the imperial courts and finally came to Hong Kong in the postwar period when Hong Kong experienced an influx of refugees from mainland China. Then yum cha was largely an activity of single males, who met over their breakfast tea to socialize or exchange tips about jobs. As these first-generation immigrants settled down, got married, raised families, and became grandparents, yum cha transformed into a family activity. It served to draw together family members who now lived and worked in different parts of the territory, and reinforce the institution of the family. Food anthropologists probably typify yum cha as a ritual to fortify cultural identity, like the Japanese tea ceremony. Not sure we felt more Chinese after all that dim sum, but even as unreal-Chinese, we seemed privy enough to certain cultural nuances to appreciate the experience more than the neighbouring real-gwei-lo.

There is talk of course, that Hong Kong dim sum is past it's prime: that Hong Kong chefs and dim sum masters have all migrated to London, Singapore and Canada, leaving the substandards behind to hold the fort. Haven't had a free weekend to yum cha in Singapore all these years to test this theory.

The Dim Sum Diaries (Part III - Birds and Pigs)
The Dim Sum Diaries (Part IV - Noodles and Rice and some noodling around)
The Dim Sum Diaries (Part V - Snacks)

Photos courtesy of LMG and KMD. No dim sum were harmed or photoshopped in the writing of this post. All were eaten.

Maxim's
Hong Kong International Airport
Departure Hall

Maxim's Fast Food
everywhere!

Luk Yu
26 Stanley Street, Central

Tai Cheong Bakery
Lynhurst Terrace, Central

Hang Fa Lau
D'Aguilar Street, Central

The Dim Sum Diaries (Part I)

Feeling disembodied.

Or rather, as Freud might be made to say in pop-psychology, it seems as if my Unconscious is still in Hong Kong and my Conscious has wandering around Singapore, going about daily life, talking to people, cooking, routinely churning out work. It's as if, in pop-Christianity, my body took off for Singapore and left my soul back in SAR.

Life in Singapore seems a dream that I will surely wake from, and on that day, I will rouse from under my duvet to the chill of a Hong Kong spring, look out the window to see old folk doing tai-chi in the clear crisp sunlight under delicate pink cherry blossoms, I will dress with the heater on, pick up a paper at a corner stall and board an old green-and-white ferry to Central, standing on the top deck in the salty sea breeze, sharpening my appetite for steaming hot dim sum in bamboo baskets and a pot of hot tea. At night, after a vigorous long hike in the chilly hills with good friends, we will descend onto the welcoming warm lights of a bustling restaurant, take off our coats and refuel with sizzling roast goose, crispy roast pork, fragrant fried rice and freshly stir-fried leafy veg.

Every time I close my eyes on the MRT, the murmur of Singaporean English around me seems foreign. My ears have happily settled on rapid-fire Cantonese and refuse to acclimatise. Can't snap out of it. I've never been to Hong Kong though I'm Hongkie on my mother's side. Not subscribing to generational memory theories, can't quite put a finger on what so beholds my Unconscious. It could be the wonderful food which gives much joy to a necessary task. It could be the lovely weather that allows you to walk and chat for miles and miles without breaking into a sweat. It could be the vibrant nightlife of classical and jazz offerings. It could be the marvellous treasures in their exciting musuems and free entry on Wednesdays. It could be the innate energy of the locals on the move and the smooth efficiency of the transportation system. It could be the fascinating specimens and amazing fashion sense of both sexes that would make a designer swoon with joy and make people-watching worthwhile. It could be all of the above. Or it could be none of them.

Headhunters had come knocking just before the trip and one of the destinations proffered was Hong Kong. And the questions hovering over the span of the trip were, "I think I could live here. I think I could be happy here. But how easy would it be to be Christian here? Would I delight too much in the materialism of the here-and-now? And ultimately, would I really be happy here without a relationship with God in the here-and-now and for all eternity?"

Might consider if there was a good bible-teaching church there and a chance of accountability partners. However, didn't get to check due to oversleeping issues (not mine for once!).

Now if I were the type to attempt to read God's will in the shape of my 蛋塔, it could seem that God is calling me to missions in Hong Kong. How convenient for my itchy butt.

The Dim Sum Diaries (Part II - Dim Sum)
The Dim Sum Diaries (Part III - Birds and Pigs)
The Dim Sum Diaries (Part IV - Noodles and Rice and some noodling around)
The Dim Sum Diaries (Part V -Snacks)

Introduction to the Dim Sum Diaries

Crumbs. The Dim Sum Diaries shall begin "inauspiciously" with an announcement that I've missed my flight by 10 minutes. Let this be a warning to all taking Jetstar Asia that they really mean it when they say "THE CHECK-IN COUNTER WILL CLOSE 40 MINUTES BEFORE TAKE-OFF". There wasn't even a soul at the counter to sweet-talk or offer my Yung Kee roast goose to in exchange for a blind-eye or two. They'd packed up and gone off.

Soggy siew-mais! Now stuck on a Chinese browser in Dim Sum Land waiting for my replacement flight to be confirmed. Security really sucks on this terminal. Very tempted to give my wimpy CEH skills a bit of a run. But shall resist and keep them on a tight leash. Put on new man etc.

Fortunately, all my Hong Kong kakis are extremely thrilled at the thought of this unexpected extension and up for more chong-ing . Akan datang then.

PS: Yes, it's true. We all become more Singaporean and slang alot more when we're out of the Lion City. I arso dunno y. :-)

Colossians 1:16 Light

A day of contrasts.

Spent most of the day deciphering tales of the happy adventures of 甲方 and 乙方 gallavanting through several lands of 合同 and 协议, accompanied by their loyal friends, 购房人, 借款人 and 委托人 (who would at odd moments merge into one and the same person due to illogical drafting by the Chinese government). My life would be better employed reading OT Greek than the dodgy shannanigans of this lot.

Lunchtime bible study was a wonderful oasis in this hieroglyphic desert. One of the great joys of reading the bible with another person being allowed to observe that look of amazement and awe on their face when something hits home, echoes their experience and blazes suddenly and marvellously to illumine the way ahead in what was a previously dark, murky and unknown place.

DD had become interested in Christ because he'd thought what the bible said seemed quite reasonable. Many years on, today over garlic mash, we read in Paul's letter to the Colossians that Jesus created all things: "things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities" (Col 1:16a).

• The reason Paul seemed to have written Colossians was to encourage them to stand firm in Jesus and Jesus alone, and not to move on to rituals or festivals or works. Jesus is all and Jesus is sufficient.
  
• If Jesus created all things, we would be silly to move from the Creator to any one else. Only the Creator himself would best know how we are constructed to live and the purpose for which we are to live. Only the Creator can tell us what we are made to find satisfaction in and how we can find this happiness.
  
• We were made for relationship with him (Col 1:16b) and so satisfaction and happiness can only be found in fulfilling our purpose and having relationship with him! Since we were all enemies of God, without any relationship with him, the only way to get into a relationship with him is of course through the death of Christ on the cross. That paid the penalty, to change us from God's enemies to his friends (not equal to God, just no longer his enemies and under his wrath) (Col 1).
• If the Creator does indeed speak to us through the words recorded in Scripture, then of course it all makes sense! The 10 commandments, the imperatives in the NT, are all ways that we were constructed to live and relate to each other; an instruction manual written by the inventor himself. What would be a better guide?

DD had a face=light bulb, duh! moment. Of course the bible is reasonable! It has to be considering whom its author is! Great stuff. He put it this way: we are taught the bible faithfully and clearly, we know these truths (like Jesus = Creator, Jesus = God, Jesus = Saviour, Jesus = Sustainer etc) but to really see all these things together, to see what it all means in our lives (eg. that Jesus = Sustainer means that the world doesn't actually operate on its own. It's not a machine that God set up and now runs independently of him. On the contrary, Jesus is working every second to keep everything from disappearing into the nothingness from which it all came), man...mind-blowing... "How not to be single-minded about Christ?", he asked. No need to be forced or co-erced. No need for human pep talks and threats of on-judgment-day-God-will-ask-you-to-give-an-accounting-for-what-you've-done. The truth read plainly is more than compelling.

Was thankful and grateful to be permitted to share that with him. That was definitely worth at least a thousand romps of 甲方 and 乙方.

If only it were that easy...

Hooked

Hooked