Letters to the Seven Churches (Revelation 2-3)

Had lunch and a spot of tea with someone I used to do PTC with and who was once theologically-correct and zealous for the truth, but had a few years ago inexplicably and suddenly stopped all bible studies and declined to go to church. No reason was given except sian-ness. It's always very sad to meet her because much as I love her and want the best for her, no amount of urging or pleading or reasoning will ever force her to recover her first love and avoid the certain judgement of God.

She asked what book of the Bible we were studying in ARPC now. The Book of Revelation, I replied. She perked up and wanted to know more. Come for service lor, I suggested. Then she figured she could download the sermons online. Perhaps...perhaps...my sporadic wimpy prayers for her shall be answered...

It is a well-known fact that the Book of Revelation is great for drawing non-Christians and lapsed Christians (is the latter term an oxymoron?) to hearing the gospel. Many people expect to find something more exciting than the normal Pauline letters or boring Gospels in the Book of Revelation. Well…

Take the seven letters in Revelation 2-3. They are very much shorter than any extant Pauline letter and follow a generally similar format:

• Greeting: "to the angel of the church in [x] write…"
  
• Description of Jesus: generally part of the description of him from Revelation 1:12-20
• Commendation: what the church is doing right
  
• Condemnation: what the church is doing wrong
• Warning about what the church is doing wrong
  
• Promises to those who overcome/conquer

The individual letters are full of symbolism and it is impossible to find out from the passage what the symbols mean. We should be wary of anyone who claims that they are able to figure all the details out because the text itself does not give answers to what, for example, the white stone (2:17) might mean or details of the theology of the Nicolaitans. However, many of the rest of the symbolism is easily understood in light of the rest of the Bible. So while we can't work out all minutiae, we are able to look at the whole picture and get a fairly straightforward view of what is being said.

The 7 named cities are real cities. They did exist historically. And the letters are real letters to those 7 churches, addressing their specific problems. However, there were more than 7 churches in Asia then, and in view of the repeated use of the number 7 throughout the rest of the Book of Revelation, the book could be one single letter to the whole church (7 being the symbol of wholeness, totality and completeness). It contains a message to the whole church. What is said to each church must be heard by entire church. It is one letter for all (hence, it is the Book of Revelation (singular) NOT the Book of Revelations (plural)).

Commendations
The church in Ephesus (2:1-7) is commended for its zealousness for the truth. They are hardworking, endure patiently and do not tolerate those who are evil but test teachers to see if they are false. They also hate the Nicolaitans (probably false teachers). Some people, who prefer to think that all truth is relative, might call them intolerant and hard because they hold to "their truth" strictly. But this so-called tolerance is a fallacious blinding of oneself to reality since all subjective truths cannot be all objectively true of reality at the same time. And it is worth noting that this holding fast to the truth and hating everything that is not true is not condemned by Jesus but actually commended.

The church in Thyatira (2:18-28) is commended for its love, faith and service and patient endurance, and that their latter works exceed the first. They are the opposite to Ephesus in this regard.

The churches in Smyrna and Pergamum (2:8-11, 2:12-17) are faithful and not fearful even though their own people are being killed (2:13). There's no disapproval for Smyrna because Jesus doesn't write just to find fault with people. He writes to encourage. The Smyrnians might seem poor but Jesus assures them that they are rich. They appear to be having some trouble with Jews who seem to think that they themselves are God's people, but are not and are instead slandering the true people of God; they are members of the synagogue of Satan. With their father, the devil, these Jews will persecute the church. Members of the church will suffer and be thrown into prison. This will be a time of testing for the church. But Jesus assures them that this will go on for only 10 days; a limited period of time (see Daniel 1:12).

Like the church in Smyrna, the church in Philadelphia (3:7-13) is facing persecution. Although they are weak, they have kept the word of Jesus and have not denied his name. They have kept Jesus' word about (note: not with!) patience endurance. So Jesus who holds the keys of David (see Isaiah 22:19-22) will set open a door which no one is able to shut and will keep them from the universal judgment of the world. When the pressure is on Jesus' people and they look and feel weak, the holy and true Messiah assures us that he will keep his people safe and sound.

Condemnations and Warnings
The church in Ephesus (2:1-7) has forgotten/lost/abandoned its first love. "First" could mean first in time/chronology or first in priority. It could be love for God or love for neighbour or love for the gospel. Whatever it is, the church has lost its love and must repent and recover it. If not, Jesus will take away their lampstand and snuff out the church. Are we zealous for the gospel but have lost our love for God, for neighbour, for the gospel? It is foolish to be full of love but ignore truth. But truth without love is nothing. It seems a bit harsh to be destroyed for being unloving, but love is essential part of the gospel. There is no gospel without love for God, for neighbour and for the gospel itself. Truth without love must therefore be falsehood.

The church in Pergamum (2:12-17) is like the one in Smyrna which is being persecuted. The persecutors are both outside and inside the church. Inside the church, false teachers have been tolerated and people within the church have been led astray and been confused into idolatrous immorality (see account of Balaam and Balak in Numbers 22-25, 31:15-18). They are to repent. If not, Jesus who rules by the sword of his mouth, his word, and will come and judge them. What is the character of our church and our Christian gatherings? Do we hate false teaching and act to cut false teachers away? Or are we too non-confrontational and cowardly to do so and do nothing in the guise of being loving and giving them another chance? Beware and repent, for Jesus will come to us soon and war against us with the sword of his mouth!

Like the church in Pergamum, the church in Thyatira (2:18-28) tolerates false teaching. This false teacher comes as a Christian and preaches Christ to the church but adds on to the gospel, teaching and seducing people into practising sexual immorality and eating food sacrificed to idols, and so leads them down the path to destruction and death. It is tempting to be bored with the plain gospel and be fertile soil for false teachings that suggest that there is more that is needed to be saved: speaking in tongues, great spiritual experiences of joy, happiness, peace or calm (usually termed as being "filled with the Spirit"), good and charitable works, partaking of communion etc. There might be external conformity in being loving and serving in various ministries and even being persecuted for our faith. But if there is the inner corruption of false teaching and immorality we are destined only for death and destruction. There are some people who are like that, and there are some denominations which encourage such external conformity with fatal inner rottenness.

The church in Sardis (3:1-6) seems to be having a relatively peaceful time. They are neither beset by suffering and persecution nor subject to corrupting heresy taught by false teachers. It seems so peaceful that they have fallen asleep and their reputation for being alive is completely wrong! Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die. We might be comfortable in a church with our close social circles and frequent communal outings (usually called "fellowship outings" or "socials"). But if we are indifferent and apathetic about God, the gospel and the growth of our neighbours, then we are little more than social clubs and the buildings in which we meet and call our Church, are little more than ecclesiastical sun-and-rain-shelters. We must wake up before Jesus comes like a thief against us!

The church in Laodicea (3:14-22) is the opposite of the one in of Smyrna: it thinks it is wealthy and prosperous but it is actually poor. The Laodiceans think they are independent and need nothing but in Jesus' eyes, they are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind and naked. They are lukewarm and completely useless. But Jesus is rebuking them not to condemn them at present but to save them from future condemnation because he desires fellowship with them, for he disciplines those he loves.
Holman Hunt in his popular painting(s) "Light of the World" (actually Hunt thought this theme so important that he painted it three times at different points of time in his life) misunderstands this verse (though John Ruskin tried hard to force a more "evangelical" reading of his protégé's work): he renders Jesus as a pre-Raphaelitian man in that white nightie holding a lamp padding up to the door of our hearts at night to knock uncertainly and hopefully at it, pleading to be let in. Popular reading has it that the door has no handle on the outside and can only be opened from the inside, suggesting that Jesus waits helplessly as we ponder whether we should let the poor man in from the cold night into our hot and toasty living room.

The image of Jesus in the previous chapter of Revelation as well as Revelation 2-3 and in the rest of the Bible is very different: here is the king of glory, Son of Man, the first and the last, the Alpha and the Omega, the Almighty, the God of Israel, the holy and true one, the one who is who was and who is to come. All glory and power and strength is his. And he is pounding powerfully on the door with the intention of waking the inhabitant up, not to beg to be let in, but to warn him to repent urgently, for he is about to spit him out from his mouth in judgement. Are we nominal Christians who merely acknowledge Jesus as Saviour and God? Repent before he hurls us from his mouth!

Promises to the Overcomers/Conquerors
All the promises and assurances that Jesus gives of the future to those who overcome and conquer truly find their consummation in the final chapters of the book in Revelation 21 and 22.

What does it mean to overcome and conquer? From Jesus' words, it is not about casting out evil spirits or having amazing powers to do miracles or even being a triumphant church or Christian experience. To overcome and conquer means to be faithful even unto death; to cling to the truth and hate and reject false teachers and to have love for God, neighbour and gospel to the end. For faith without works, a mere verbal affirmation of who God is without any change in our lives, is useless. Although it is not our works that saves us, if we claim to have faith but we are not changed to conform more and more to the mind and person of Christ, the reality of our faith is in doubt.

Do we persevere in the truth and love God, our neighbours and the gospel even if the going is difficult? To the one who overcomes, Jesus will grant to eat of the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God (2:7; 22:1-5 cf Genesis 3:22-24): the gift of eternal life living in perfect relationship with God, under God's rule, in God's beautiful land.

Do we suffer because of the gospel? Are we unpopular? Slandered? Persecuted at home, by family, friends because we are on the side of God? Do not fear, for Jesus has put a limit on the time of testing. And if we overcome, we will be given the crown of life, and not be hurt by the second death, the lake of fire and sulphur (2:10-11, 20:15, 21:8).

Do we look and feel weak and powerless? Are we under pressure from all sides? Hold fast and Jesus will keep us safe from judgement, and let us reside in God's temple; having relationship with God, under God's rule, in God's house, so that all peoples from all nations will acknowledge (3:9, cf Isaiah 45:14, 49:23, 60:14) that we are his people and he is our God (3:12b, 22:4).

Are we zealous for the truth and jealous for God's name? Do we hate false teachers and false teachings? Do we deal severely with them even when others accuse us of being unloving and sowing disunity among the church? To those who overcome, Jesus will give some of the hidden manna; the bread of life and blessed provision of God for those who trust him, and a white stone with a new name written on it; a pure new identity in Christ, cleansed by his blood (2:17, Isaiah 62:2).

Do we hold fast to the plain gospel we have without taking away anything or adding anything? Are we undistracted by fresh heresies of how we can be more spiritual/Christian? To him who conquers and keeps Jesus' works until the end, Jesus will give authority over the nations (2:26-27, 19:15, Psalm 2) to reign over together with him and the morning star (2:28, 22:16).

Do we live as a community of God's people, fully alert and aware of God and his word, his design for the world and zealous for his kingdom, overcoming temptation to be an ineffectual social club? Jesus will find you worthy and will never blot out your name from the book of life (3:5-6, 21:27).

Do we head the warnings of Jesus to repent urgently? We shall have fellowship with him and reign with him (3:20-21).

There is no point asking ourselves which of the 7 churches we are. This isn't a cheap psychological New Testament quiz forerunner of Quizilla. There is one letter and one message. Each of these seven churches is us. All the churches gathered together are us. Whole message needs to be heard by all Christians.

The ultimate writer of this one letter is the Creator and Rule of the World. He is also the coming Judge. The letter is both a warning and an encouragement not to see as the world as the world sees it but to see what is the true reality. We might look like we are poor but we may in fact be rich. We might look like we are rich and want for nothing but we may indeed be poor and naked. We might look weak when Jesus is in fact sustaining us and protecting us from judgement. We may be zealous for truth but neglect love for God, neighbour and gospel. We might be zealous for love and service and might even suffer for the gospel but we might tolerate false teachers. We might look alive when we might in fact be asleep and almost dead.

The overcomer and the conqueror is the person who is faithful, who endures suffering while clinging to the truth and hating all false teaching. He has an ear to hear what Jesus says to him as a member of the church and puts it into practice in his life. To him, Jesus gives the tree of life, the crown of life and deliverance from eternal death, the hidden manna and a new name, rule over the nations, an entry in the book of life, residence in the temple of God and the throne.

Are we sleepy or lukewarm? Wake up and repent!

God will not tolerate our nonsense forever. And he will come suddenly, like a thief in the night, to judge us for what we have done. If you know that the judgment is what must soon take place, wake up and repent! For when the judge comes, you will be caught unawares and then it will be too late.

Members of the church must warn and encourage each other. We have a great and urgent responsibility to urge one another to cling to the truth and to love for God, gospel and neighbour. We must deal severely with the heretics and their followers, encourage the weak and weary, rebuke the unloving and falsely confident and slap awake those who have fallen asleep.

"Be ready!" warns Jesus,"I am coming soon!"

*******

Heaven Now (Revelation 4-5)
The Revealing Book of Revelation (Revelation 1)

*******

Great God, What Do I See and Hear

Great God, what do I see and hear?
The end of things created!
The Judge of all men doth appear,
on clouds of glory seated.
The trumpet sounds, the graves restore,
the dead which they contained before!
Prepare, my soul, to meet him.

The dead in Christ shall first arise
at that last trumpet's sounding.
caught up to meet him in the skies,
with joy their Lord surrounding.
No gloomy fears their souls dismay,
his presence sheds eternal day
on those prepared to meet him.

The ungodly, filled with guilty fears,
behold his wrath prevailing.
In woe they rise, but all their tears
and sighs are unavailing.
The day of grace is past and gone;
trembling they stand before his throne,
all unprepared to meet him.

Great God, to thee my spirit clings,
thy boundless love declaring.
One wondrous sight my comfort brings,
the Judge my nature wearing.
Beneath his cross I view the day
when heaven and earth shall pass away,
and thus prepare to meet him.

[Another version of the final verse reads:
Great God, what do I see and hear:
the end of things created!
the Judge of all men doth appear,
on clouds of glory seated:
low at his cross I view the day
when heaven and earth shall pass away,
and thus prepare to meet him.]

Words: Sheffield Psalms and Hymns, 1802, William Bengo Collyer, 1802, 1812 and Thomas Cotterill, 1819
Music: Nun freut euch (Geistliche Lieder, 1535, Wittenberg)
arpcrevelationjudgementend times

Free Gift

Received this most excellent free gift in the mail:

This wallet-sized beauty contains a blade, a pair of scissors, a stainless steel pin, nail file, screwdriver, ballpoint pen, ruler, protractor (is that ever required in an emergency?) and toothpick.

Great stuff. Thanks muchly, Heineken!

The best free gifts are the useful types. Not the pointless valueless display items that clutter up your living space. And I highly recommend as the best, most useful free gift of all: the free gift of life. Get yours today.

Finishing the Race and Not Wimping Out

Some time ago, we were eagerly anticipating the great feast of runs coming up in the next few months:

New Balance Real Run on 28 August 2005

New Balance Aquathlon Challenge a week later on 3 September 2005

SAFRA Sheares Bridge Run and Army Half Marathon another week after on 11 September 2005

the fun-for-a-good-cause Terry Fox Run 7 days after that on 18 September 2005

and finally, to round off the running year before Christmas so we can enjoy our Christmas noosh, the Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon on 4 December 2005.

As we were planning runs, carbo-loading and how many we'd be able to fit in while still allowing time for recovery and reducing the risk of nasty cases of plantar fasciitis, shin splints, patellofemoral pain, I wondered how apt the oft-used metaphor of the Christian life being a race was.

As a kid, trainers told me that my muscles were fast-twitch and I excelled at the 50m (got such distance one. Last time kid only mah) and the 100m. Without training, the 200m was a bit dodgy especially after the curve and the 400m was a complete no-no. My best friend then was the complete opposite, he had slow-twitch muscles so 400m was a saunter in the park.

Just as I had fast-twitch muscle fibres, I also had a short attention span, got bored easily and couldn't stand repetition. Was constantly sent for "counselling" for disrupting classes, "talking back" to teachers, fighting with boys, throwing chalk at girls (if you used coloured chalk, you'd see where you hit 'em) and skipping school. (Thankfully this was pre-ADD and ADHD mania.)

Now, my great fear is not finishing the Christian race for sheer distractedness (which is sin of course). It seems so much easier for the slow-twitchers; the goody-two-shoes who always do what the teachers say, who are naturally prim and proper and submissive to authorities (now God and church leaders), who do their homework (now bible study), keep the school rules (now God's commandments), to continue.

Running a short distance is fun. You know it's going to end soon and you just give it your all. If I was given 3 months, a year, 3 years to live, I'd be sprinting all the way. But not knowing when the end is makes me very nervous about lasting the distance. Historically, I have never lasted any distance.

What is needed is courage. Courage to persevere. Courage not to ignore fear but to knowing fear and make decisions and act in light of that realistic fear.

One of the guys, a big beefy father of two, described how tough his first marathon was. His whole body ached, his muscles cried out in pain, his lungs felt like they were about to explode, the blisters on his feets were bursting/had already burst. The whole run was one of increasing pain and suffering. He must have been an idiot to subject himself to all this early on a Sunday morning when he could have been having a nice leisurely breakfast with his wife and playing with his kids. Then, when he was 100m from the finishing line, the crowds started cheering him on.

"Go! Go! Go!" they chanted
"加油!加油!"

And he felt as if all the aches and pains and suffering he'd experienced were things of the distant past. All heaviness had suddenly been lifted off. Tears started streaming down his face. He cried so much he could hardly see where he was going. The feeling was so overwhelming he couldn't stop himself. It was the immense indescribable joy of having come through the ordeal; having persevered through the agony, and the goal was just within sight.

Sounds like what the writer of Hebrews describes in 10:26-12:13.

How do we last the distance? How can we hope to finish the marathon?

The Hebrews running coach urges us to:

• keep our eye on the goal: better and lasting possessions (10:34), our rich reward of salvation (10:35-36,39);
• be confident that God will give us what he has promised if we finish the race (10:36);
  
• remember the dire consequences of falling by the wayside, giving up the race: fearful expectation of judgement (10:27), a punishment worse than death (10:28-30), ultimate destruction (10:39). For it is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God (10:31);
• be sure that the day of judgement is coming, in just a little while (10:37). If you're running a marathon and the finishing line is just within sight, now is not the time the shrink back, for your goal is within grasp;
• be spurred on by those who have run the race before us, who testify to living the courageous life. There is great encouragement in knowing that loads of people have run the same race before us and made it to the finishing line;
• remember that faith (not our own effort) is the key to finishing the race (whole of 11). Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (11:1). Faith is about confidence and assurance. It isn't "blind faith" or "a leap in the dark" or some strange esoteric religious feeling or intuition. Faith:
  • recognises and accepts the existence of God on the plentiful evidence that is available in the world that he created;
  • recognises God's incomparable power to call the universe into being from nothingness;
  • recognises God's kingship over all of his creation and his justice in condemning created beings who do not acknowledge him;
  • examines the historical evidence of God's workings throughout the Old Testament and considers that God is trustworthy and can be taken at his word;
  • therefore, accepts his word (now in the Bible) as true and (i) relies on it to anticipate the future: the assurance of things hoped for; and (ii) evaluates the present in light of the future: conviction of things not yet seen.
  Faith is trusting God and his promises. The important thing about faith is not the faith itself (you can have faith in all sorts of things but your faith could be misplaced) but the object of your faith (what you have faith in). We are not saved by faith but by God/Jesus.
  
• be spurred on by the marathoners of the past, the cloud of witnesses, who have not only gone before us but cheer us on as we run our race (12:1) [note: some interpretations];
• throw off everything that might hinder us and sin that so easily entangles (12:1). If we're attempting to finish a marathon, wearing a pink fluffy bunny suit or Spiderman costume loaded with webspinning devices isn't going to help our chances of making it to the finishing line. Get rid of everything that distracts or weighs us down so we can concentrate on making it to our goal;
• fix our eyes on Jesus Christ (12:2-3), who is a perfect model of one who has faith and who has persevered through unspeakable suffering: he was incarnated as a mere man. He endured the cross, a painful and shameful death without dignity, a death that he did not deserve. Yet, he did what was God's will, showing true courage and dependence on, and faith in, God. He then ascended to glory at God's right hand. Jesus trusted God's word and promise of vindication and glory, he was obedient to it and endured the cross, and finally received what was promised. He was courageous and courage comes from trusting in God and his promises;
• fix our eyes on Jesus Christ not only as the perfect pioneer of our faith but the author and perfector of it (12:2). It is God/Jesus who is the author of our faith, who has promised to turn and who has turned our hearts of stone into hearts of flesh (Ezekiel 11:19). Not so that we can be nice to people and do good deeds like the Buddhists, or be nice to all living things like the Jains, or be emotional like girls with PMS, for they do all this without any change in their hearts. God gives us a heart of flesh so that we would recognise whom God is, trust in him and his promises and live our lives according to this reality (Ezekiel 11:20). It is Jesus who is the perfector of our faith for we still live in a sinful world with sinful hearts and never truly completely trust in God. But Jesus perfects our pitiful, cannot-make-it response and it is acceptable to God.
  

The finishing line is within our grasp. The crowds are cheering us on. Let us encourage each other as we run this race together (10:24-25), for in God's word, we too have seen the glory and hope we will share with Christ in the future! So let's run with endurance the race marked out for us, for it is not just our own effort or the encouragement of other people that carries us forward but God himself working effectively in us as well, bringing us to the finishing line.

Bugis, NAFA and Materialism

Everytime I meet certain clients at Bugis, several long hours are spent trying to inculcate me into the scintillating world of Mammon and the great happiness (vaguely defined by well-appointed houses in several countries, fancy cars, the perks of platinum cards, valets and maids, flying in a Michelin-starred chef of your choice to cook dinner, a private jet for a weekend in Paris or a shopping trip in New York, a fleet of yachts, an island or two...) that success would hand me on a silver platter.

After tactfully avoiding offers to buy me lunch/dinner, I either escape to the Sony shop downstairs for a run on their display-set PSP or take a long walk around the environs to clear my head of visions of grandeur.

On one side of Bugis Junction, there are the colourful, pungent, crowded restaurants lining Liang Seah and Tan Quee Lan streets filled with backpackers, mat rockers, fagging indie folk and zombified office workers.

On the other side of Bugis Junction, past the boring ubiquitous facade of the usual fast food restaurants are dark sweaty alleyways misty with cheap cigarette smoke squashed with shops offering better than the usual pasar malam clothes, jostling among secondhand mobiles, international calling cards, S$7 CDs, S$5 sunglasses, drinks mixed in huge plastic tubs, Hakka abacus beads, kueh tutu steamers, and cheap watches.

On the second storey, a more Harajuku-meets-Far East Plaza's Level One/The Heeren's The Annex/Bugis Junction's Edge counts amongst its tenants a sex shop with a very bored proprietor, a tattoo studio and a cafe that sells large palm-sized cookies.

Inevitably, I end up at the familiar grounds of the old campus of the Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts. Unlike the cold new monstrosities campuses, the old one sounded and smelt just right: wet clay drying as you entered the side door, silhouettes of unfinished sculptures in dark corners, a central courtyard filled with strains of strings or muffled piano from improperly-closed studio doors. Classrooms had the comfortably lived-in smell of generations of wet watercolour paint and freshly-ground 墨水. Water-coolers were sometimes clogged with paintbrush hair and algae. The ancient lift was cranky and tempermental and sometimes made us *very* late for someone's debut recital.

The thing about not selling out to Mammon or material success is that it's not a particularly Christian virtue. It was a code of honour concept at my alma mater that one didn't do art for *shocked and insulted expression* money. "This piece was commissioned!" they'd whisper with some venom at the exhibition. "He takes in too many students..." some would sniff darkly at the mention of a particular practitioner. Art for art's sake was ideal. Sacrifice and suffering for one's art was noble, untainted by the vulgar material considerations.

So is there a difference between a Christian's view and an artist's view of materialism?

Yes!

The Christian thinks that materialism is good. :-)

*******

See also an article by Phillip Jensen reproduced below:

This present age: Our struggle not to covet
Originally published in Briefing #280 (January 2002)

As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life (1 Tim 6:17-19).

Money. We’re to enjoy it, but not to love it. There is nothing wrong with being rich, but wealth is a great snare. We are to receive all good things with thanksgiving, but at the same time build up our riches in heaven. It seems that a right attitude towards wealth is a constant balancing act between extremes, and there is no one level of wealth which is ideal; being rich may lead to self-satisfaction, being poor might make you resentful. How on earth are we to know whether we have the right, Christian attitude towards money?

The passage above from 1 Timothy 6 is a good place to start talking about riches, for here we have encapsulated the great blessings and the great dangers of wealth. Wealth does tempt us to be haughty. Wealth means other people will serve us; and it is very natural to become arrogant towards others when you know they’ll do whatever you want. Wealth generates confidence, for it seems as if you will always be safe. Banks, insurance agencies and financial management companies all tell us the same thing: wealth is the way to make the future secure, so you can have peace of mind as well as comfort now.

In fact wealth does not give security, for it can disappear overnight, as survivors of stock market crashes can testify. All wealth, whether inherited or earned, is a gift. The family into which you were born, the economy, the time in history—all these are a gift from God. At this time in history, to be born into an Australian family means the possibility of a wealth not even dreamed of by most Afghan families.

But wealth is not wrong; God provides it to be enjoyed. This is part of using wealth well—as is being generous and using wealth to store up treasures in heaven. The last point is crucial: whether we are rich or poor materially, our real wealth is spiritual. That is the wealth we should value; that is the wealth on which we should judge ourselves. That is the wealth that matters. And in having this attitude towards money, Christians are at odds with the atheistic world, and also with other religions.

Material realism but not materialism
The secular world is materialistic. It believes philosophically that this life and this physical universe is all there is; and so it is not surprising that it preaches a doctrine of amassing material wealth. What else is there? There is no other ultimate justification, no other reward, nothing else worth having. The best we can have is material comfort, so we might as well devote everything towards that end.

It is an entirely self-centred view, and for that reason it is terribly anti-social. Westerners care about the country’s economy only because it affects their own wealth. Other people’s interests might be addressed to the extent that together we can all create more wealth for ourselves; but other people do not really matter. There is a story circulating that some American business people, on seeing the planes crash into the World Trade Centre, reached for their telephones to sell shares. Whether or not this is true, the sad thing is we can well believe it could be true. We can easily imagine people whose immediate attitude to disaster is to think of how it affects their money. We can easily imagine it, because we could do it, too.

Christianity is not the only religion to oppose this self-centred materialism, but it does it in an unusual way. Buddhism and the philosophies of Hinduism, for instance, are anti-materialist both philosophically as well as practically. Their doctrines teach that this physical world is not just passing, it is essentially an illusion—an evil illusion. Reality is found when the illusion of material existence can be overcome. This is done through denial, through asceticism and meditation. The physical world must be rejected entirely.

Christians, however, believe in creation. The material world is good, because God created it to be good. It is the doctrine of demons to reject the material world, to live in asceticism and denial of the generous gifts God gives us. Material things are good. Stereos and big houses and harbour views are good. Large salaries are good. It is better to be rich than poor, it is better to have food and clothes and beautiful things than to be without them. Poverty is not a godly state and money is not the root of all evil—although the non-Christian world generally thinks that we preach that.

No, the love of money is the root of all evil. You cannot serve both money and God. In serving God, however, money is a great thing to have. It is useful to consider the advice given to the exiles in Babylon, in Jeremiah 29:1-9. Build houses and live in them, God told them. Plant gardens and eat their produce, marry and have families. Even more, seek the welfare of the city and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.

We are in exile, in the spiritual Babylon while we wait to get into the Promised Land, our spiritual Jerusalem. We should never forget Jerusalem; but while we are here, we should go about the business of living. The exiles in Babylon were tempted in two directions: to undermine Babylon as the enemy, or to enjoy living there so much they forgot Jerusalem. God told them to do neither. We have exactly the same two temptations: denial of this world or denial of the next. Well, in theory we do. Most middle-class Western Christians are in no danger of asceticism. Our danger is all the other way.

Paul tells us, in Philippians 4:11-13, that he has learned the secret of facing both plenty and hunger. With the power of God, he has learned to overcome the temptations of both. He has learned not to covet, which is the real evil at the heart of both riches and poverty. He has learned not to envy his neighbour, not to live in enmity with others who might have more. He has learned by the power of God to be content. How might we learn the same thing? How can we beware of the greed in our hearts?

The rule is simple: don’t covet—but the material circumstances that go with coveting can be anything from billionaire-hood to utter poverty. Just about any action, from buying a lolly to selling a mansion can be done in a greedy manner—or a godly one. It is up to us to examine our own hearts. But there are things that, at least, should make us pause and do some reexamination. I have noticed recently a few clarion-call indicators which we should take as a signal that materialism may have moved in quietly and taken hold. The first issue, gambling, is one on which most Christians probably agree; after that we will get to the touchier ones—children’s education and minister’s salaries.

Gambling
The basic rule for Christians is, no gambling. This is not because there is anything inherently bad about games of chance—but then, the essence of gambling is not chance, but covetousness. Gambling is wanting something for nothing. It’s wanting something that you don’t have, that you want to take from someone else without paying for it. It almost inevitably involves taking somebody else’s money. It doesn’t feel like it, when the organizing body orchestrates the money exchange; but the money you win from a lottery, or a bet, or a marketing competition effectively comes from the other people who also want the prize. If none of you were so covetous, there would be no prize.

But what about sport? What about winning a trophy? What about investing on the stock market? There are a thousand different applications of gambling, some of which seem quite innocent. What about when a company offers you a free food processor if you ring up and leave your address? They’re going to give it away anyway! In all these things, the evil is covetousness. If you need a food processor, go and buy one. God is quite capable of providing you with a food processor. He can give you the money, or provide a Christian friend who will give you one. By participating in the "competition", you are encouraging the system whereby people are motivated by their greed to read a company’s advertising. Greed is the evil.

Of course, some activities can be practised without gambling. You can invest in the stock market in order to support a certain company that produces goods that help society. Or you can gamble on the stock market, investing without caring what the business is as long as it will increase your money. You can go and watch horseracing if you happen to like watching horses run. You can even play a game with yourself or a friend to see who can guess which horse will win. That is still different to betting on a horse. No doubt every reader can think now of an exception to these claims. It is the attitude of the heart that creates a gamble; the odds are irrelevant.

Schooling
How to divide your church in one easy lesson: preach on whether you should send your children to private or public schools.

Recent debate on schooling in New South Wales has produced some interesting definitions regarding the difference between public and private schooling. The private school, it is said, is the place where you bond. It’s a close, protected environment where children make strong relationships with the other children, who will most likely be from similar backgrounds. Parents send children there because they want the child to bond with that group, for intellectual, cultural, religious or social reasons.

Public schools, on the other hand, force children to bridge. Because the other children could be from any background or socio-economic group, children have to learn how to relate to different kinds of people. They must be able to build bridges across social gaps and form friendships with those from different backgrounds.

Of course it is not as clear-cut as that. Private schooling may involve some necessary bridging. Public schools generally draw children from one suburb, which in itself will involve a similar socio-economic background. A small public school in a country town may comprise children of more diverse backgrounds—although, of course, they will all have in common being country children. A school experience where real bridging with a totally different social group takes place is very rare.

Christian parents want to protect their children (as do almost all parents). They are also prepared to make sacrifices for the sake of their children. Parents also generally want their child to have a quality education, which is achieved most often in schools with small classes and many resources—private schools. These may be good reasons to send children to a private school. The question for parents is—are they actually the reasons that motivate you?

For as well as any such noble motivations as described above, private schools will also set your child on the upwardly mobile track to economic success. The other children they bond with will be the future high earners, so your child is likely to be up there with them. It is the private schools that give the high TERs, the entry into the good universities which lead to the profitable careers. In short, private schooling for children can very easily be a Christianised way of loving money. It may be for your children instead of yourself, but it’s still a form of materialism.

It is not good for a country to have all its education controlled by the state. The freedom of choice in education is a necessary part of freedom of life. But we must not let our children’s education become a way to indulge in love of money. There are so many ways in which a good cause like this—children and their education—can be twisted by our covetous hearts. For many people, private schooling is prohibitively expensive, so parents sacrifice home time for work in order to afford the schooling. But education is ultimately a parent’s responsibility, and it requires relating to the children. Parents can make themselves so busy providing for their children that they have no time to know their children. Is private schooling really worth that?

Of course we want to provide good things for our children. It may be time, however, for some to pause and take stock. What are we buying for our children? What do they actually need? Love of money can appear anywhere, even in our love for our children.

Clergy salaries
Another issue which can fall prey to materialistic thinking is how much we should pay someone to minister the gospel.

Consider a minister in a poor suburb. Everyone in the suburb lives in three-bedroom fibro houses. The minister wants to fit in with his people. The church organization he works for, however, has a standard policy for ministry salaries and housing. So they build him a brick rectory—the only brick house in the suburb—and pay him about five times what his neighbour earns. His congregation just can’t relate to him. They’re jealous of his wealth and feel uncomfortable being entertained in his house.

Consider the minister a few suburbs away, in a very wealthy area. He’s paid the same salary, but in this suburb it gives him a house a quarter the size of his neighbours. When he entertains people, they can’t believe how shabby the carpet is. He makes his decisions according to bus timetables. He never goes to the same restaurants, plays or concerts that his congregation members do. His congregation simply cannot relate to the way he thinks. He seems to be a walking insult to them all the time, not someone whose message might be listened to.

We must be able to reach people. In impoverished areas you simply cannot maintain nice middle-class standards and still do your ministry well. Missionary societies have known this for years—missionaries to impoverished areas are generally prepared for the fact they will probably have to reduce their standard of living. But ministers in Sydney, for example, still get their big brick houses in the ‘fibro’ suburbs. On the other hand, gospel ministry can be just as damaged by insisting on poverty in a rich suburb as it can by living in luxury in a poor suburb.

How do we live by the gospel with greedy hearts in this fallen world? Only by the power of God. We must work at learning the art of contentment. We must learn to live amongst riches without being seduced by the love of money, and in poverty without resentment. Some ministers will earn more than others will, even more so as our society becomes more diverse economically. What every minister should earn, however, is as much as he needs to live. Then all are equal whatever the suburb.

In the end, the salary is not what creates a problem of greed amongst clergy; sinful hearts create greed. We do not want a situation that haunts some areas of the United States, where ministers angle for rich ministries in order to grow rich. Neither do we want an equality of pay so rigidly enforced that no one has what he or she needs. Ministers must always beware of the love of money. Do not covet more than you need. We have been given immeasurable riches in the kingdom of God. Be satisfied with them.

© 2004 Matthias Media. All Rights Reserved.

The Revealing Book of Revelation (Revelation 1)

Am especially fond of the Book of Revelation, because it was while reading the book that I became a Christian. (Yes, God does work even through a book supposedly so scarily difficult that even John Calvin would not write a commentary on it and certainly not the sort you would give a non-Christian. Afterall, it is God's word too.)

Even as a pagan though, I had no patience for the scare-mongering-without-evidence of the "Left Behind" series that was sweeping the churches then or the finger-pointing Christians who claimed contradictorily that their favourite evil dictator of the moment or the most recent evil technological advancement was predicted by Revelation. Sounded a lot like Chicken Little meets the Singapore Magic Stone to me. Revelation, as someone once said, is the happy hunting ground for all kinds of heretics. Its rife symbolism makes it easy to take anything out of the context of the book and use it to "prove" any harebrained conspiracy theory.

Prophecy
Revelation states that it is a prophecy (1:3). In the Bible, prophecy does not mean foretelling or predicting the future like astrology or Nostradamus or fortune-telling. Prophecy in Scripture means forth-telling a word from God. In this context, a word from God through his Son, through an angel (1:1).

Revelation
Revelation is the unveiling, the pulling back of the curtain or lifting the lid of a tin, to reveal the truth, the facts of the situation, of reality.

Purpose
The purpose of this prophecy is to show his servants what must soon take place (1:1), so that they will obey the words of the prophecy and be blessed, for the time is near (1:3).

The promised blessing for obedience isn't something magical but natural cause and effect: if there was a bomb in the building that is set to go off in half an hour, and someone reveals/unveils to you what must soon take place (ie. the bomb will go off in half an hour) and warns you to get out of the building, then blessed is he who hears that person's words of revelation and obeys it. For the time is near.

Trustworthy Messager?
But how do we know if this revelation or prophecy is trustworthy? Look at Jesus' credentials:

• he is the faithful witness (1:5)
  
• he is the firstborn from the dead (1:5), firstborn could mean the heir (eg. Psalm 89:27, Colossians 1:15) and could also mean the one who has gone before us to be first resurrected from the dead
• he is the ruler of the kings on earth (1:5), the promised king like David but much more (Psalm 89 is fulfilled on two levels: David himself - somewhat, but more completely in Jesus)
• he is coming with the clouds (1:7): an allusion to the person in Daniel 7:13 who is given authority, glory and sovereign power and whom all peoples, nations and men of every language worshipeed. His dominion was to be an everlasting dominion that would not pass away, and his kingdom, one that would never be destroyed (Daniel 7:14).
  
• he has been pierced and all the tribes of the earth will wail on account of him (1:7): an allusion to the person who is pierced and mourned for on day of judgement in Zechariah 12:10-14
• he stands among the lampstands/churches (1:12): there were more than seven churches in Asia. Seven is the symbolic number of perfection, completion, totality. So Jesus is among the entire church.
  
• he is one like the son of man (1:13): again an allusion to the ultimate kingly figure in Daniel 7:13
• he is wearing a long robe and a golden sash (1:13): reminds us of the garments of high priests whose priesthood was an everlasting ordinance (Exodus 28, 29, 39)
  
• he has really white hair, as white as wool or snow (1:14): reminds us of the Ancient of Days in Daniel 7
• his eyes were like a flame of fire, his feet were like burnished bronze, refined in a furnace, and his voice was like the roar of many waters (1:14-15): which reminds us of the Daniel's vision of God in Daniel 10, and the description of the Almighty and the God of Israel in Ezekiel 1:24 and 43:2
• in his right hand he held seven stars/angels (1:16)
  
• from his mouth came a sharp two-edged sword (1:16): sounds like the description of the appointed servant of the LORD in Isaiah 49
  
• his face was like the sun shining in full strength (1:16): sounds like the Day of the LORD in Malachi 4:2 and err...Jesus transfigured in Matthew 17:2
  

This description of Jesus isn't really what he looks like physically (or else John wouldn't have been able to see anything on account of Jesus' really shiny face) but reminds John's readers (who would be more well-versed in OT allusions than the average modern Singaporean) of the characteristics of Jesus. The description of his appearance in the vision sounds somewhat like what we have in the OT but are different in the details; a jumble of OT allusions. Notwithstanding that, the overall picture is quite clear: in Jesus, there is overarching power, overwhelming splendour and infinite glory. He is the promised ruler of the world, the prophesised trustworthy suffering servant of God, in fact, it is suggested that he is God himself: the Ancient of Days, the Almighty, the God of Israel.

Who is talking in 1:8? The Lord God but also Jesus. For he is the first and the last (1:17). He is the living one (1:18): the description of God in Psalm 42:2, 84:2, Isaiah 37:4, 37:17, Jeremiah 10:10, 23:36 etc, who is real and who is alive and not just aware but also in control of everything in the entire universe.

Whom are we dealing with when we're dealing with Jesus? God himself. Therefore Jesus' testimony, revelation and prophecy is trustworthy. For he is God himself.

Reaction
John's reaction to Jesus is utter fear (which people tend to have when they see a real angelic messanger from God or visions of God himself in the Bible: eg. Moses at burning bush (Exodus 3); Balaam, his donkey and the angel blocking his path (Numbers 22); Zechariah when sighting the angel in the temple (Luke 1:12)). He falls at Jesus' feet as though dead (1:17, see also Daniel 10).

Somehow, we seem to have lost this fear of Jesus. Hardly anyone talks about bowing down to him in great fear. Even fewer talk about his frightening, awe-some character. We like to think of Jesus as a tall, thin, pale chap with long blonde maggi-mee hair, a white nightie, snuggling fluffy cute sheep in a pastoral background (as Chappo might have put it if he spent more time in Singapore). He's all spaced-out hippie making peace-and-love-not-war in his nightgown. He's our best friend, he makes us happy when we are sad, he's our indulgent daddy. We make him in our image and imagine ourselves equal to him. We project a character onto him which gives us the warm fuzzies and makes us comfortable, ignoring the clear picture of him in the Bible. And he is no cuddly teddy bear.

Perhaps, as Phil Jensen suggests in his talk on the Book of Revelation, we have too high a view of ourselves and too low a view of Jesus who is afterall, God. And that's sin isn't it?

Q: Who is Jesus?
Q: Who are we?
Q: How do we relate to Jesus?
Q: How should we relate to Jesus?

See Him Coming
Glory and power to the One who loves us
Honor and praise Him forever
Come Lord Jesus, come Lord Jesus
Glory and power to the One who freed us
From all our sins by His blood
Come Lord Jesus, come Lord Jesus

See Him coming on the clouds of heaven
Every eye behold Him now
He's the living one, the first and last
Who once was dead but now He lives
Forever and ever

Glory and power to the One who made us
A kingdom and priests for God's service
Come Lord Jesus, come Lord Jesus

See Him coming on the clouds of heaven
Every eye behold Him now
He's the living one, the first and last
Who once was dead but now He lives
Forever and ever

Jesus is the living One
Who died and came alive
Jesus is our mighty Lord
Who was and is to come

See Him coming on the clouds of heaven
Every eye behold Him now
He's the living one, the first and last
Who once was dead but now He lives
See Him coming on the clouds of heaven
Every eye behold Him now
He's the living one, the first and last
Who once was dead but now He lives
Forever and ever

Mark Peterson

from "We Are His People"

*******

Heaven Now (Revelation 4-5)
Letters to the Seven Churches (Revelation 2-3)
arpcrevelationjudgementend times

Artistic Block and Bible Study

We were discussing whether to retrieve our "artwork" from the HYPE exhibition or leave them to charity (but couldn't conceive what anyone would want with a 40" x 60" laminate other than perhaps to cover a peeling PVC table top).

In the midst of the discussion, she confessed,"When I realised who God was and how puny and stupidly rebellious I was in relation to him, I believed that Christ's death on the cross would save me from God's wrath and was given the gift of life. At the same time, I lost my artistic gifts."

She explained that she found that she could no longer write poetry nor paint because the inspiration she drew from the well of deep angst and dark depression and the helplessness she felt not being in control of her life, the spring of unstable emotional highs and lows that poured out easily and unremittingly onto paper had suddenly dried up in the clear sweet light of being in a contented relationship with God. For the first time in her life, she was actually stable and satisfied.

"Well, you could write about other things," said I hopefully (not quite sure of the relationship between inspiration and art),"the things that you value most now: our great and gracious God, your restored relationship with him, your fresh perspective of the world, your contentment and satisfaction with everything. You could use your gifts to generously serve the body of Christ..."

"Nah," she replied,"perhaps it's not that I've lost my artistic gifts but that I'm no longer interested in art. I used it for soul-searching, for self-fulfilment, for adulation. But I now find my meaning and value solidly in Christ. In my pagan days I'd arrogantly thought that I had an important message to tell the world, an especially insightful interpretation of life. But of course all interpretations have already been thought of and all stories have already been told. And of course, whining and whinging "artistically" is far more bearable than irritating old whining and whinging."

"But you do have an important message to tell the world: the gospel!"

"Exactly! But poetry and painting are too vague and fluffy to convey the message. And too much time and energy would be wasted trying to put across the message obtusely in poetry or painting which would be more efficiently and clearly conveyed by plain prose...which is why I love Bible study so much and reading the Bible with people! Straight and direct and hits you between the eyes and in the heart!"

She beamed.

Amen, dear sister. Amen.

Singapore's First Genealogy Exhibition

I wandered out of my room this morning at the same time a strange ang moh was emerging from the neighbouring room. My first thought was: whose house is this?!!

But the surroundings were familiar and definitely a very good replica of the home I knew.

My next thought was: [insert random unedifying Rockson phrase]!!! Who spiked my drinks last night?!!

Fortunately, it soon became clear that strange ang moh man was the old boarding school mate of the occupant of the next room who was at the moment dead to the world and snoring loudly on the living room sofa.

Somewhatly not related to the topic of home and strangers therein, an uncle passed away recently. After his Japanese business associates had taken the first flight down hand-carrying dry crisp Akashi to toast him with, and after his son had also returned to Singapore for "one last drink with the old man", my cousin sat next to me and told me how she fully intended to collect as much family history as she could before our fathers' generation died away completely.

So as I was passing what was advertised as "Singapore's First Genealogy Exhibition" at the National Library, I thought I'd pop in to look at available resources.

Got talking to a nice lady who had a name tag that indicated that she was from the "Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints". So, I noticed, did many of the caretakers of the exhibition. Most of the pamphlets available were for family search services run by the "Church" (they are also known as the Mormons, after the Book of Mormon which is part of their scriptural canon) from their headquarters in Salt Lake City, Utah or Bukit Timah Road, Singapore. The nice lady explained that in her religion, family history was very important.

In Mormon doctrine, which is really quite opposed to the Christian doctrine set out in the Bible, and possibly closer to Taoism or Catholicism, family history research is important because they believe that:

Life does not end at death. When we die, our eternal spirits go to a spirit world, where we continue to learn while we await the Resurrection and Final Judgment.

Members of the Church believe that the family can also continue beyond the grave, not just until death.

This is possible when parents and their children make special promises, called covenants, in sacred temples. These covenants, when made with the authority of God and faithfully kept, can unite families for eternity.

Members of the Church believe that their deceased ancestors can also receive the blessings of being eternally united with their families.

For this purpose, Church members make covenants in temples in behalf of their ancestors, who may accept these covenants, if they so choose, in the spirit world.

In order to make covenants in behalf of their ancestors, members must first identify them. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has gathered genealogical records from all over the world. These records are available at the Family History Library in Salt Lake City, Utah, and at Family History Centers throughout the world.

It's interesting that in this exhibition, governmental organisations like the National Heritage Board and the National Library should be collaborating with a religious organisation that is usually deemed a cult.

Response to "Response to the 3Ts"

Hey Hamster, thanks for alerting me to your response to the 3Ts.

For reasons stated previously, I'd rather not get involved in potentially endless conclusionless discussions regarding blog posts, and so if you don't mind, here's a short clarification that may not address every single point of your response:

1. Specific Context to 3Ts

You have a wife and Yong Chieh has a girlfriend. God forbid that we should comment on how either of you couples came together (not that we have any knowledge of the proceedings). The posts on the 3Ts were subsequent to a discussion started by Pre-dating Woe-ed Man ("PWM") and consequently were directed at his circumstances as a brother-in-Christ who was anxious to know the wisest (ie. most God-fearing) way to go about getting a girlfriend.

2. Personal Experience vs God's Word

I do not know your personal histories, so this is not a statement that is targetted at either of you but a general statement that it is worth noting that one should not extrapolate one's personal experiences into law just because some good came out of it in our personal history.

Joseph's brothers meant for evil when they sold him away, but God meant it for good so that his family was in the end saved from the famine by Joseph's position in Egypt. Pharaoh hardened his own heart against God and refused to let the Israelites go out from Egypt. But God used that for good to show his awesome power and his saving grace to his people. Judas meant for evil when he betrayed Jesus but God meant it for good for by the death of Jesus on the cross, the offer of salvation from God's wrath was made effective for those who believe.

Although good came out of all these evil actions, we cannot then extrapolate this to recommend as good advice that people should seek to kill/sell the siblings they are jealous of, or to refuse to acknowledge the living God, or to reject Jesus. All these perpetrators will be called to account for their actions on the Last Day. The good consequences of their actions will have no mitigating effect on their responsibility for their crimes.

Again, please understand that I am referring to neither of your situations (of which I am ignorant) but to the many who say,"Look. A Christian was willing to date/marry me. And now I'm Christian too. So stop being so narrow-minded and asking Christians to only look within the church." God may have worked in their disobedience and foolishness for good, but this does not discount the fact that they will be held responsible for their neglecting to take God seriously when Christ comes again. And so just because it turned out alright for one person doesn't make it good advice for all! We must always be guided not by the personal experience of others but by the objective truth of God's word in the Bible.

3. Summary of Target

What we were discussing (which was somewhat reported in the Target post) was this:

• the reasons why PWM wanted to date and marry and whether he had thought about Paul's recommendation of singlehood in 1 Corinthians 7. Whether PWM was "burning with passion" and so for godliness, should find someone to marry.
• PWM said he probably was "burning" but would have to think more about that one. For the sake of discussion, we continued on to remind him of what he should/should not be looking for in a girl; not to be fixated on external beauty, but to be concerned first about her inner beauty of being a Christian. Not just a declared Christian (nothing very beautiful about that) but a living-it-out-in-her-life ("LIOIHL") Christian. As you and Yong Chieh pointed out, the qualities discussed were not particularly wifely qualities but qualities any Christian should have/be working towards. They show how much a person considers God in every aspect of their lives and how they are transformed by his word and his Spirit. Absolutely. PWM is looking for a Christian girl and these are qualities a Christian (which would include a Christian girl) should have/be working towards. As we grow and mature as Christians, our hearts and minds are to be more and more conformed to Christ's, and we are to find attractive what God finds attractive. Not outward beauty which will soon fade away but the unfailing beauty of a LIOIHL Christian.
• [as a side note, it is not true that this is too high a standard. Get to know more people within the church. You'll be pleasantly surprised. I know many girls who are LIOIHL Christians. Many of them are past 30 and are slightly dumpy but what does that matter? They are a great encouragement to all!]
• so if PWM was "burning with passion", and for his godliness it is better that he marry, then he should consider one of these LIOIHL Christians, even though his societally-corrupted mind may not find her physically attractive at first.
• but even if PWM was "burning with passion", his life goal is not to find a girl and get married. It might be better for his godliness that he do so but part of the character of any Christian should be the trait of self-control. If he lacks self-control then getting married is not the solution. Marriage is not an alternative to self-control. He is to exercise self-control even in marriage. But in respect of sexual passion, it marriage may make self-control much easier. [Of course, marriage may make self-control in other respects much more difficult if she is a dripping nag...but let's not go there!]
• as you also rightly pointed out, godliness is the godly duty of all Christians, not just Christian girls. But many "courtship" books (I assume these are the types very different from the ones you read, the types devoured by pre-pubescent Christian girls almost as the word of God and quoted endlessly to each other in Sunday school and imposed by them on Christian boys) indoctrinate, by implication or otherwise, that the point of godliness is to make oneself attractive to the opposite sex, to prepare for marriage, or to be so pure and holy that God will bless you with a partner. Of course godliness is a far more wonderful thing than a mere erroneously mercenary vehicle to achieve the ugly secular goals. Godliness is a response to the awesome revelation of God of the best way to live in the world he designed and the change wrought in our entire being by the Spirit as we prepare for the day when we will see him face-to-face.
• when Chris Chia advocated tolerance vs happiness, I think he meant tolerance of what God would deem unimportant but which the world tells us we need to find happiness (like external beauty, talents or skills, squeezing the toothpaste from the end of the tube, leaving the toilet seat up or down, good dress sense) rather than tolerance of lack of interest/seriousness about God and his kingdom. Chris, if you are reading this, tell me if I'm off.
4. On Response to Timing

just a quick point on your response: a fair number of girls apparently struggle with the temptation to idolise their boyfriends/husbands, the temptation to please them rather than God, to seek their approval than God's and the fear of being abandoned by them rather than God. They struggle to prevent their boyfriends/husbands becoming their whole lives and from whom they find their value and meaning in life. I know that it is on the prayer lists of many wives to be able to resist this peculiar urge and keep their focus on God. It may sound arrogant to you that anyone would need to guard against being idolised, but if that's the unique temptation that many sisters face, then their brothers/boyfriends/husbands must help them guard against it. Of course not all women face this same temptation, but it is good to be vigilant.

5. On Response to Technique

Two even quicker points on your response:

• as PWM is dating, it is only natural that he will grow to be more physically attracted to his girlfriend. But there is a difference between physical attraction and lust and physical attraction and undressing her with his eyes (which is also why tudungs don't work but that's another story). She isn't his wife yet (she may in fact end up as someone else's wife), therefore, he is still to treat her with absolute purity.
• "do's" and "don't's" may in "courtship" books may have been intended by the authors as practical pointers, but there is a danger that many people will use them as a list of rules and regulations, thinking that if they follow them, they will be pure and godly. This is what the Bible warns against for the mind and heart of humans are sinful and crafty and will try their utmost to wiggle their way around the list. The all too common sin of the Pharisees. We wanted to remind PWM to focus on changing his whole mind and heart and not just on what others tell him should stumble him.
• just anecdotally, two Christian flatmates were dating at college. The boyfriend of one of them was attracted by her in skirts, so she had to wear baggy tracksuits on dates. The boyfriend of the other was attracted by her in baggy tracksuits so she had to wear skirts (which she wasn't quite fond of, and neither was he). So one man's turn on is another man's turn off and each must judge for himself what practical steps to take to do what is right in God's eyes.

Cheers.

Dating: Technique

All too soon, it was time to move indoors for a caffeine boost to tide us through the rest of the work day. Having looked at Target and Timing, we considered how one might start a dating relationship.

The right way to start a dating relationship is a just a subset of the right way to live life. The general principle is to love your neighbour, which includes the Target of your venture. Other-person-centredness is the command of God, the design within which we are to find happiness and the cornerstone of the community that Christ's blood enables us to live in.

One aspect of loving our neighbour is helping them live in a right relationship with God, under God's rule. This means aiding and encouraging them to faith and godliness rather than putting out stumbling blocks for them to trip over.

Right. So a walkthrough might go something like this:
So you see this girl. You're attracted to her. And it's difficult to be clearheaded about not rushing into asking her out on a date.

But remember the general principle. It is your responsibility to love her and care for her by going about it rationally and biblically, not in blind pagan lust.

Absolute Purity
First off, treat everyone with absolute purity (1 Timothy 5:2). The girls in church are not potentials. They are not wares in a shop for you to feast your eyes on and consider with intent to purchase. They are first and foremost your sisters and you are to think of them as such with pure love.

Friendship and Fellowship
Establish a friendship. Relate to her as you relate to any other sister. Afterall, she is not your potential girlfriend. She is a sister like all others. Encourage her to focus and depend on God like you would any other sister.

It is not true that a romantic, exclusive relationship will enable you to get to know her better. It may be more emotionally exciting but the emotional excitement merely blinds you to the illusion and infatuation of being too close too fast. Objectivity is required in making godly loving decisions and much can be known and deduced about her in group settings.

Remember that the point of friendship is not to acquire a girlfriend who will later become your wife. The point of companionship and fellowship in the body of Christ is to build each other up in love and good deeds, teaching and rebuking, encouraging and correcting each other so that we grow together in love for each other and knowledge of him.

If that is the point and the primary purpose for being in a group, then you should not flirt from DG to DG, bible study group to bible study group, social circle to social circle, looking for one where the pickings are good. That would be a disgusting display of self-centredness and mercenary lack of love for your church family and a glaring testimony of your idolatry of marriage.

If you are lonely, identity and comfort is to be found in God first, then in the family God gave you, the Christian community Christ died for.

[A word to the wise, said Cappucino Cad: flirting from flower-bed to flower-bed whiffs of desperation and alerts the lasses that you view them merely as objects of your lust. Even if the sweetest of them attempts to be understanding of your urgent need to find a wife, your actions bespeaks of your untrustworthiness and instability. Who is to say that your lust will stop once you find a wife? Perhaps you may be doing your rounds of the flower-beds again after a few years. Lust is not stopped by marriage, but by repenting of it.]

No Cleavage Please
As a brother to your sisters-in-Christ, you are not to show your cleavage to them. Girls are apparently wired different and common understanding has it that they are stimulated by emotional connection and by warm touch and are excited by being pursued. Doing or saying anything that stimulates them in that way would therefore be as vulgar a come-hither signal as having a bosomy girl rub her aforementioned bosom in your face, then say with great consternation when confronted,"But I was just being friendly!"

Late night talks and intimate sharing in the name of counselling and caring for one another must be done with wisdom. Singling one girl out of an entire group to talk with throughout an outing or constantly asking a girl out one-on-one is showing male cleavage.

Some guys try to limit the damage by alternating between warm closeness and cold distance. Unfortunately, that's apparently the equivalent of a girl flashing her boobs at you every once in a while.

Then there are other guys who attempt to do more gentle damage control by reminding the girl every now and then that they aren't interested in her in "that way" and implying that she is being ungodly and unreasonable in assuming that they were. I'd think that'd be the same as a girl baring loads of cleavage then accusing you of being ungodly and unreasonable by having a physical reaction.

Girls are wired differently and are stimulated by different things. The cause and effect may be illogical to you but that is how they function. The kind and loving thing to do is to take their differences into account when you interact with them and not continue doing whatever you want, however you want.

Not Even a Hint
Even if you are genuinely interested, avoid saying and doing things that express your feelings toward her. This includes flirting, dropping hints of the depth of your emotions, encouraging people to talk about you or treat you as a couple. [Friends, teasing a girl and a boy who are not dating about their suspected couplehood is very not helpful to everyone.]

Target and Timing zun
In time, if she proves to be a Target and the Timing is zun, then wait for what? Go and ask already lah! Wait someone take. Can kiasu a bit anot?!

What is this "scared spoil our friendship" business? If you both talk about it and she disagrees that this is the best way to go for both of you, then you are two mature people who can go on being friends without any awkwardness. She has to trust that that is the end of your venture for now and if she is squeamish about it thereafter, maybe she isn't the Target you thought she was, so your attempt was useful anyway.

If you're actually scared of being rejected, heart-broken and disappointed and having to leave that social circle. Then you'll have to consider why: have you made marriage your life goal so that any "defeat" makes you bitter and downcast? Has marriage become your idol? Then perhaps you are not ready for marriage. You should spend your time on God who matters more than any human can and should matter.

[We all agreed quite sian to flog dead horse but should say that conversely: married men and single girls, don't pressure the single guys lah. If the guy doesn't get off his butt, he's just not that interested lor. As The Marxx suggests, it could well be for ungodly reasons. I have never known a guy who didn't swing into serious action when he was really interested. But pressure a guy to go when he's not ready and it's tears and recriminations all around in the end.]

Successful Dating
If she agrees to start a dating relationship, what would you consider a successful one? Although dating is done with the intention of marriage and finding out if the other is suitable as a marriage partner, the success of a dating relationship should not be defined by whether or not there is a marriage proposal, a diamond engagement ring and a nice church wedding.

Possibly, a successful dating relationship is defined by how godly and loving your conduct was in the relationship and whether you ultimately made a wise, God-fearing decision about marriage.

In dating, as in every other aspect of your Christian life, do nothing out of selfish ambition, do nothing that follows the ways of this world. Instead, do everything according to God's grace, in holiness, always watching out for her and in your thoughts, motives, words and deeds, doing what is best for her godliness and growth.

That's a bit waffley. So loads of "courtship" books try to nail down specifics (a popular bugbear is sexual sin) by listing down regulations:

"Don't hold hands."
"Don't lie in bed together."
"Don't park your car in a secluded spot."

However, like the Colossians' "Do not taste!" "Do not touch!" rules (Colossians 2:20-23), these regulations have an appearance of wisdom, but lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.

The problem lies not in our lack of willpower or slack discipline. The problem lies in our old sinful selves still insisting on following the ways of the world and our lusts of the flesh.

You don't need a list of "do's" and "don't's". Rather, set your heart and mind on things above. Put to death everything of the earthly nature and clothe yourself in virtue (Colossians 3:1-17). Waffley. But it's a holistic approach to life. In fact, it should be part and parcel of your life, not a list of rules and regulations.

Boon Yong once suggested that your conduct during dating should be such that if she gets married, but not to you, her future husband will be able to thank you in his wedding speech for taking care of her.

Target and/or Timing buay zun
If Target and/or Timing buay zun, then donch care lor.

You are complete in Christ as a single. You are as happy and satisfied as you can be. Marriage will not make you more complete nor happier nor more satisfied. Marriage is an unnecessary appendage to your wholeness, your fullness, your value and your contentment and joy. All that is already found in God. In any case, marriage is only temporary (it only lasts as long as you live in this life). Invest and store up on the eternal things!

Your view of love must not continue to be distorted by the world's view of romantic love. Finding romantic love is not your highest calling and snagging a girlfriend/wife cannot be your life's goal.

As with everything else, we understand love by looking at God. God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). And God's ideal for love is not romantic/erotic love between sexual partners. Said Jesus:

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13)

True love for another person is the sacrificial love that is to be found between friends. So stop looking for love in the wrong places!

*******

Then we legged it back to the office double-time!

Dating: Target
Dating: Timing

Dating: Timing

By the time the sun came up and al fresco chilling was a possibility, Pre-dating Woe-ed Man had figured Target was worth a shot and was still keen to continue his venture. So Lager (Lard-butt) Lad continued:

Christian relationships are to be very different from pagan ones. Instead of being marred by selfishness, self-centredness and gaining what you can from a relationship, you are to center on God and what is best for the other person in the relationship.

In considering whether to take your friendship with her to a different level, how can you be centered on God and do what is best for her?

• effect of dating relationship on her relationship with God: is she a new Christian or a Christian who has just started taking her faith and her relationship with God seriously? Will starting this relationship take away time and energy from her getting to know God better and building a strong foundation for her faith in the solid study of God's word and living out her faith in a wide community of believers? (Don't kid yourself that you can lead her in bible studies and be her mentor. Both your motives will be confused and uncertain.) If she is desperate for a relationship or marriage, she will depend on you rather than depend on God. She will love you more than she will love God. You will be more important than God in her life. You will become her idol. By asking her to be your girlfriend, you will be consciously setting yourself up as a false god and taking her away from the true and living God. Her relationship with God should be strong enough to that your intrusion into her life will not usurp God's rightful place in her life.
• effect of dating relationship on her overall situation: is starting this relationship now best for her? Is she already going through a period of high stress, upheaval, change?
  
• how will expressing all your feelings for her at this point in time in her life serve her?
  
• how will starting a dating relationship now affect your relationship with God?
  
• if all goes well, will you be prepared to marry her in a year or two? To lead her gently and lovingly to grow in Christ? To serve her with everything you have and to lay your life down for her even at the lowest point of your marriage when she hates you and wishes to ruin you?
  
• are you prepared emotionally to enter a dating relationship? Are you stable enough for what might be a lifelong commitment?
  
• if neither of you are ready for a relationship, then are you being impatient? Could it be due to your own selfish short-term desires? What are you motives for wanting to start the relationship?
  
• how well do you really know her? How real is your perception of her? Has it been blinded by sheer emotion and rose-tinted glasses? Have you considered her in the harsh cold light of day? Have you observed her in various situations? Have you sought the counsel of objective third parties? [Note: parties eager for you to marry cannot be considered objective third parties.]
• how solid is your friendship with the lovely lass? Are you rushing into a relationship before you have a good foundation of mutual camaraderie, respect, appreciation of each others' good and irritating points and failings and weaknesses? Do you really care for each other as brother and sister?
  
• how certain are you about Target? Do you have unresolved nagging doubts? Then don't waste her time but continue to get to know her better in group settings.
  
• have you prayed about it and committed this venture to God?!!

The myth of romantic love (itself merely a modern Middle Ages concoction) is that love just happens, at first sight, with a shot of Cupid's arrow, is inexplicable and beckons irresistibly. We are not victims of circumstance. We are responsible, self-controlled beings who are committed to God and the well-being of others. This means that we do not follow whatever stray emotion that might be equally brought on by a tummy-ache-inducing badly-cooked fish or an endorphine-producing molten chocolate baby cake. We are not to behave like animals in heat but are to make sound rational biblical decisions based on God's word and objective evidence so that we do what is good and right under God for us and for our sister-in-Christ.

[Ed: This might sound coldly utilitarian but I do know of married couples who'd started dating not having any romantic feelings for each other. But they both appreciated that they were travelling in the same direction, were committed to God and committed to seeing if they could help to build God's kingdom together as a couple. And in the course of dating, they fell in love. Of course their marriages aren't all fun and games. No marriage is. But their strong common basis stand them in good stead: they resolve problems, conflicts and miscommunications without horrid personal attacks and emotional blackmailing and make up some of the loveliest, sturdiest, most loving marriages I have seen.

Apparently, when Martin Luther and Catherine von Bora got married, they didn't do so out of romantic love either. Luther had his eye on another and wasn't actually very fond of Catherine at all and thought her too haughty. But to cut a long story short, what started as marriage as an expression of Christian discipleship and love for God rather than each other, gradually developed into one of authentic and realistic love for each other because of their commitment to serve God through marriage.]

*******

Dating: Target
Dating: Timing