Thanksgiving for Christian Friends and the Early Church in Acts

It has been an unimaginably busy few weeks. Unimaginably busy.

Though I am truly grateful for friends with whom there can be night-long discussions (without any hint of embarrassment) about the advantages of Pollini's Horowitz-like 4'50" for one of Chopin's Etudes to Ashkenazy's 5'46", I thank God even more for Christian friends who keep one somewhat fed and watered physically (who insist on swinging by at ungodly hours and days to drop off "something special" or force me to have dinner) and also spiritually, encouraging perseverance in Christ and in prayer.

And we're off to Malacca this weekend for the ARPC church camp and after there're seminars and loads of Bible studies! Excellent. Will update here when there's a bit of breathing space! :-)

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Swotting overnight over the church camp Acts studies, realised that Luke's term for this friendship is koinonia; fellowship.

In Acts 2:42-47, Luke gives us an enthusiastic description of the early church:

They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

and again in Acts 4:32-37:

All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need.

Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, whom the apostles called Barnabas (which means Son of Encouragement), sold a field he owned and brought the money and put it at the apostles' feet.

Some modern thinking encourages us to believe that we are individualists with no need of anyone else. But the gamut of soppy weepy love songs over the generations attest that we all hunger for meaningful relationships and communities of some sort. This isn't surprising considering that God designed us that way: to live not as individuals but as a community of his people.

So when we are saved, we are not just saved as individuals per se, but we are saved into a community, we are brought into a family, we become a part of the body of Christ, the covenant people of God. Says Peter:

...you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's own people, in order that you may proclaim the mighty acts of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. (1 Peter 2:9-10)

Augustine's pithy phrase for this was "Salus extra ecclesiam non est (Outside the church, there is no salvation)". Unfortunately, Catholic Church in the Middle Ages interpreted this as "Outside the Catholic Church, there is no salvation". What poor old Auggie apparently meant (or so his apologists tell us) was that we cannot be Christian without being automatically welded into an intimate new group of people, a new family with new brothers and sisters.

The ἐκκλησία, the church, is a unified body that depends not on gathering in some architectural wonder/monstrosity, but in members in their several places united to the One Head - Christ, forming one organic living whole (1 Corinthians 12), making up the whole bride of Christ (Ephesians 5:25-32).

The early church was not a lukewarm meeting to which one dragged oneself out of plodding obligation and because the moving pictures and the home telly hadn't been invented.

The early church was passionate about God and about each other. They couldn't wait to spend all their time together, learning about God and sharing their meals. So in love were they with each other that they renounced not their possessions but their possessiveness over their possessions (surely the harder thing!). There was no narcissistic drive for self-fulfilment. Instead, brimming in love, they cared for each other's needs so that there were no one needy in among them.

Fellowship was not about the warm fuzzies. It was doing things for each other and caring for each other under God, guided by his word.

And evangelism was not another campaign (ie. Save People, like you would Save Water, Save Electricity, Save the Dolphins, Save Martha...) but it was the enthusiasm for God and the gospel bubbling out of the life of the believer, so happy and joyful he was that he could not but share the good news with every one he met.

This was the early church. And God added to their number daily those who were being saved.

Revision Party

Here's some publicity for people I know:

What's this about then?
It's a stay-in camp run by a bunch of fairly biblically faithful teachers for 15-18 year olds (Secondary 3 to JC2-ish). The aim of the camp is to proclaim the Lord Jesus to both the churched and un-churched through expository Bible talks, group Bible studies, apologetics seminars, and one to one contact with older christians. In between, there'll be lots of supervised revision for those with exams after the June hols (it's a Revision Party after all), good food, games, entertainments, sports and (some) goofing around.

Why bother?
It's a great opportunity to revise for post-holiday exams in a quiet and disciplined environment, and at the same time, hear and explore the Christian message systematically and build friendships for Christ, and of course, have lots of fun while you're at it!

More details please!
It's a mere S$80 for 5 days of room and board.
Contact revisionparty@gmail.com for more information or a sign-up slip.

Uni students

Uni students who are professing Christians and would like to serve at the camp are welcome. They will help with the running of some activities, games and sports. As a separate group, they will have their own leaders. And in addition to the main talks and seminars, they will have their own Bible studies. The aim is to build them up and send them back to serve in their universities and/or their local churches.

Again, contact revisionparty@gmail.com for more information or to sign-up.

Ministry: May They Forget The Channel, Seeing Only Him

In planning for new gospel ventures, prayer meetings are helpful in reminding us of the end goal of our ministry, which in turn decides the why and how of our ministry. Often, too often it seems, we find that the longer we are serving in any kind of ministry, the more Teflon®-y the aim of ministry is in our minds.

The goal of our ministry parallels Jesus' own goal for his ministry while he was here on earth.

Jesus was sent
Jesus was sent by the Father (John 20:21), a son to the wicked tenants of the Father's vineyard (Luke 20:1-19), so we are sent by Jesus into the world that refuses to know or acknowledge him (John 20:21).

Jesus was sent to do the Father's will
Jesus was sent to do, not his own will, but the Father's will. He hungered, not to do what he himself wanted but to do the will of the Father who sent him and to accomplish his work. It was the very purpose of his life, of why he came to earth from heaven (John 4:34; 5:30; 6:38). So our aim is not to do our own will in our lives, but the will of Christ who sent us.

Jesus was sent to please the Father
Jesus was sent, not to please himself as if his coming to earth was some roughandready thirdworldcountry adventure holiday from heaven, but to please the Father who sent him (John 8:29). It is easy to become man-pleasing rather than Christ-pleasing in our ministry. It is more pleasant and more comfortable to avoid potential conflict within the church by doing what pleases those who are leaders over us or the sheep under our care (of course all in the name of Christ). We fear the disapproval of our brothers and sisters more than we fear the disapproval of Jesus.

But we are not 无为 Taoists who say:
道可道、非常道。
名可名、非常名。(First Stanza of 道德經)
We know who has sent us and we know what we are sent to do. We know that wherever we are, we must make it our aim to please the Lord and try to discern what will please him (Ephesians 5:10). We must be anxious, not about pleasing others, but pleasing the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:32). For at the end of this world, we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil (2 Corinthians 5:9-11). Are we seeking the approval of man, or of God? If we were still trying to please man, we would not be servants of Christ (Galatians 1:10).

Jesus was sent to represent the Father
Jesus was sent to represent the Father (John 5:37). For no one has ever seen the Father, but Jesus who was at the Father's side has made the invisible God known (John 1:18). Whoever believes in Jesus, believes not in Jesus but in he who sent him. And whoever sees Jesus sees God who sent him (John 12:44-45). And now that we have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer we who live, but Christ who lives in us. And the life we now live in the flesh we live by faith in the Son of God, who loved us and gave himself for us (Galatians 2:20) so that the life of Jesus is manifested in our bodies, and the life of Jesus in our mortal flesh (2 Corinthians 4:10-11). We are being transformed into the image of Christ (2 Corinthians 3:18). We are ambassadors for Christ, representing him in thought, word and deed, making him manifest in our witness and appealing for people to be reconciled with God (2 Corinthians 5:20).

Jesus was dependent on the Father
Jesus could do nothing on his own but was totally dependent on the Father (John 5:30). So Jesus is the vine and we are the branches. Apart from him, we can do nothing (John 15:5). Therefore we must be prayerful.

Jesus was sent not with his own words
Jesus was sent not to be original. He came not with his own words but uttered the words of God (John 3:34). His teaching was not his own but that of the Father (John 7:16). He merely conveyed the Father's message (John 12:49-50). So we are sent to tell the world not a different message that is uniquely our own, but the same message that Christ entrusted to us (Matthew 28:20, Mark 16:15). We are to pass on the unoriginal package of sound words (2 Timothy 1:13).

Jesus was sent for the glory of the Father
Jesus was sent, not to seek his own glory, but that of the Father (John 7:18). Jesus was not keen on recognition, praise or attention to come to himself. He was pointing clearly and consistently to the One who had sent him. So we should direct all recognition and praise, not to our own selves, but to Jesus. This is how we are to do our ministry, whether it is Bible study leading, song leading, book selling or ushering.

Ideally, this should mean that when people come out of a Bible study or a service, they should be singing praises of God and the work of Christ, rather than of the Bible study leader, the preacher, the song leader or the musician. They should be saying,"Wow! Our God really is wonderful!" not "Wow! That preacher was so charismatic and that drummer was amazing!"

Ensuring that the focus is on God, not man, is the responsibility of both those who serve and those who are being served. The servers need to check their personal motives for serving. They also need to ensure that the way they serve (the organ recital, the solo item, the tight Bible study or sermon, the audiovisual work) is neither so flamboyant nor so substandard as to distract people from God.

But however much the servers try, it is impossible to keep from distracting each individual member of the congregation. The musically-trained in the congregation may think the musicianship and singing complete and utter rubbish; those working in the publishing industry may find the Americanised spelling, serif fonts and kerning of some editions of the Bible irritating; graphic designers may be annoyed by the stock clipart in the weekly bulletin; professional public speakers may be irked by the poor delivery of the sermon... So it is likewise the responsibility of those being served to make a conscious effort not to be distracted from God and his word by the ability (or lack thereof) of the servers.

And as servants of the gospel, as slaves of Christ, we sing as we carry on his work:

May His beauty rest upon me,
As I seek the lost to win,
And may they forget the channel,
Seeing only Him.
Words: Kate Wilkinson

Broadcast at The Substation and Psalm 91

Because Singapore is not anywhere near Aunt Beeb's Big Weekend in Dundee, there was some karma-point amassing (but not enough, never enough obviously and therefore useless, for heaven) going on the überfun way at Broadcast at The Substation, in aid of Music For Good.

During the 13-hour event meant to showcase "local" music talent through gigs, photo exhibitions and short films, there was a dripping air-conditioner upfront; liberal use of yellow cellophane on the fluorescent tubes for the warm look in the White Room; Pat Chng bopping and sound-checking; ETC, "Astrogal", "Supermarket", Ben's mumbly pimping of the gigs at Earshot next Saturday (where they're playing together with Typewriter and highrise), Lennat who wanted more more more rock so "Adolesce" as encore; only Aidil from Couple who, when he intro'ed Tentang Kita, was encouraged by Jack at the back yelling "Maalaayseeaaahh!!!"; curb-squatters and heated discussions about the efficacy of songs in humble C; a fast depleting Asahisweatfumes-to-oxygen ratio; someone in a neon-pink Dragonball wig with a fairy wand, fake crooked teeth and what looked like a plastic banana in her bra; the newly-re-formed Lilac Saints with the Original Lineup including can'trememberthelyrics Rick and theOriginal Eugene doing "To Be the One" (mp3 from a farlesstight previous gig thanks to Joe Ng); no sight of the sorely-missed Concave Scream; the much-publicised auctions for dinner dates with mynickisStyra Ginette Chittick from Astreal and norequestsforfreelegaladviceplease Linda Ong from Lunarin; and Poptart for a midnight snack.

Much better photos from others here and here.

For the long early morning trip home, there was a compilation CD of previously-unreleased work put together by the notsogeriatric folks at Aging Youth and sponsored by Bar None (Futon, Force Vomit, Bilateral Relations Monday Sessions all there this month). Sweeet.

The tracklisting is:
1. The Observatory - This Sad Song (Remixed by Rennie Gomes)
2. Camra - White Hearts Lane
3. Stoned Revivals - The New Way
4. Electrico - Hello
5. MUON - Against The Grain
6. B-Quartet - Catwalks
7. Lunarin - Absolution
8. Ugly In The Morning - Carousel
9. TypeWriter - Enemy
10. Elise - Massive Earth
11. Astreal - This Was Wallflower (Remixed by MUON)
12. Phorous - The Glowering
13. The Love Experiment - Orbit Around Me
14. Documentary In Amber - Turnstiles

Half way through the acoustic sets, there was break for Bible study prep and saving the eardrums for the Singapore International Piano Festival, and in the middle of that, like Russian-dolls, a great catchy idea for an evangelistic remix inspired by Deuteronomy and simpleman Mylo (as soon as I get paws on some mixing programmes and equiment and then, if I remember how it goes. Grrr...need to checkout/invent notation for remixing.).

Psalm 91, Matthew 4 and Luke 4
But about Bible study prep amidst a spot of tea at Ya Kun and the later discussion over hot chocolate at Corduroy & Finch...

What is Psalm 91 asking of us? Blind faith that makes an uncalculated, brainless leap into the darkness?

God's Trustworthiness and Power
The Bible never speaks of blind trust or a leap of faith in the dark. Rather it expects us to trust only those who prove themselves trustworthy. Therefore, it tells of God's promises to us and always appeals to evidence of (1) the trustworthy character; and (2) the ability of God to do what he has promised. Both these traits are important: it's no good God having the ability to do something but if he neglects to fulfil his promises in the end. And it's no use if God is trustworthy with all sorts of good intentions if he doesn't have the ability to carry them out.

David Jackman notes that the Psalmist in Psalm 91:1-2 gives us the four names of God (reflecting his character) that are the basis of our faith in him. He is:

• the Most High (Psalm 91:1): a name of total sovereignty and authority. There is no higher Court of Appeal, no greater power. God is the Lord of history, of the universe. He is the Lord who governs all things according to his will;
• the Almighty (El Shaddai, Psalm 91:1): a name used mainly in the Patriarchal period, recalling God's works of old. He is a God of mountain-like stability, but always in the context of his grace. He puts his power at work for the good of his people. God, bountiful giver, pours out blessings on his own; the inexhaustible resources of the Lord at the disposal of his children;
• the LORD (Yahweh, Psalm 91:2) is the covenant name of God, revealing the character of God to his own. The personal name of God (the sort used not by outsiders but only by his own family), given to Moses at the burning bush (Exodus 3). He is the I AM, the eternal present-tense God, unchanging, bound to his people by an oath that can never be broken, in New Testament terms sealed by the precious blood of Christ. The God who will never let us go, let us down, or give us up; and finally,
• my God (Elohim, Psalm 91:2). It is plural, indicating the Trinity, the Godhead, but at the same time, made wonderfully personal. He is mine. And in that little word "my", faith moves from theory to experience. This God, the only true god, he is mine and I am his; all that he is in himself, he is to me. It could not be otherwise. He cannot change, so it is all there for me. This is where I must build my home; here are my roots, living in this God, the supreme reality of my life; the heart of what it means to be a Christian.
  

The Promise of the Trustworthy and Powerful God
And what does this trustworthy and powerful God promise to those who (1) love him, (2) know his name (have a right relationship with him; and (3) who call upon him (Psalm 91:14-15)?

...he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler
and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his pinions,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
You will not fear the terror of the night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.

A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
You will only look with your eyes
and see the recompense of the wicked.

Because you have made the LORD your dwelling place-
the Most High, who is my refuge-
no evil shall be allowed to befall you,
no plague come near your tent.

For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways.
On their hands they will bear you up,
lest you strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread on the lion and the adder;
the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot. (Psalm 91:3-13)

During the SARS outbreak, some churches taught their members to chant and claim the literal promises of Psalm 91 as some magick protection against the deadly disease. And when Christians died from SARS, there were tears and recriminations and accusations of faithlessness all around.

But literal protection against disease cannot be God's promise here because Jesus, who of all humans surely loved God, knew his name and called upon him in his hour of need, was not saved from a particularly nasty death on the cross.

We are often told that the way to read the Old Testament is to pay attention to the genre of literature and also to let the New Testament interpret the Old. The Psalms are poetic. Therefore, they are given to similies, metaphors, imagery, figurative language and even hyperbole. Keeping this in mind, we look at where the New Testament interprets the Old - in the Matthew 4 and Luke 4 passages set out below.

We must have read these passages at least a hundred times before in both Matthew and Luke's Gospels:

Then the devil took him to the holy city and set him on the pinnacle of the temple and said to him, "If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down, for it is written,
"'He will command his angels concerning you,' and "'On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.'"

Jesus said to him, "Again it is written, 'You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.'" (Matthew 4:5-7)

And he took him to Jerusalem and set him on the pinnacle of the temple and said to him, "If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down from here, for it is written,"'He will command his angels concerning you, to guard you,' and "'On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.'"

And Jesus answered him, "It is said, 'You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.'" (Luke 4:9-12)

What is wrong with Satan's quotation of Psalm 91:11?

Is it that Satan quotes Psalm 91:11 at Jesus to trick him, and Jesus sufisagestorylike sees through his cunning and fires a pithy rejoinder, and there is applause all around? Not quite.

Or is it that Satan displays a devastating inability to read Scripture in context for which Jesus must issue a terse correction? Non.

Or is it that old Sunday school chestnut about Jesus being a teacherspet goodytwoshoes who always followed the rules, had blind trust in God and so did not ever test him (whatever that means)? Not quite either.

Jesus' pithy quote-in-retort ("You shall not put the Lord your God to the test") is instructive as to the correct interpretation of that piece of Psalm 91 misused by Satan. The quote-in-retort comes from Deuteronomy 6:16.

In Deuteronomy, Israel is just about to enter the Promised Land, and Moses, who is not going in with them is spelling out just how they are to live on the land in right relationship with the God who brought them out of slavery in Egypt and is about to give them a land of their own. He reminds them not to test God as they did at Massah (Exodus 17:1-7, Numbers 20:2-13) when, being more than merely ungrateful, they distrusted God's intention rescuing them from Egypt and did not believe that he would do what he promised.

Moses' swansong in Deuteronomy 32 summarises the sad events of the Exodus and after: first Moses sang of the wonderous characteristics of God, his greatness, his creative power, his lordship over everything he made, his sustenance of the universe he created, and so how God brought Israel out of Egypt and cared for her like an eagle caring for his young (Deuteronomy 32:11), protecting Israel from her enemies and establishing her in a good and fruitful land. But Israel, instead of staying in a faithful relationship with this God who so loved her, worshipped other madeup gods who neither cared for them, created them nor even (and importantly) existed. And this provoked God, rightly, to anger. He pronounced his judgement on them:

And I will heap disasters upon them;
I will spend my arrows on them;
they shall be wasted with hunger,
and devoured by plague
and poisonous pestilence;
I will send the teeth of beasts against them,
with the venom of things that crawl in the dust. (Deuteronomy 32:23-24)

Very familiar imagery to the readers of Psalm 91.

So if we love God and have a right relationship with him, what he promises is not protection from all kinds of evils, but that we shall be protected from arrows, plagues, pestilences, lions and snakes as allusions to, as word pictures of, his punishment on the wicked (and not that these things per se are necessarily his judgement on sinners, but just in this context). He promises us that we shall have no fear of the most fearsome thing there is: God's judgement on and punishment for the wicked. We shall not wait in utter dread and trembling expectation for the rod of God's wrath to fall upon on our puny backs. Hell is a terrible destiny to have.

Instead, to those who trust him, he will show his salvation. And for this life, though God does not promise it will be trouble-free, he does promise his comforting presence. We are secure in God's hands, knowing that Christ has died in our place, for our sins, trusting that God's loving providence controls all and nothing is allowed to happen to us that is not for our ultimate good.

BBC Radio 1's Big Weekend

There is a wicked music festival going on over in Dundee at BBC Radio 1's Big Weekend. Real world wellies and dubious sunshine. Real world spilt lager in mud.

For those of us on the other side of the earth, the festival be streamed live to the Beeb Radio One island on Second Life. Virtual festivalgoers will get a free radio and T-shirt for their avatars (via Ann Taylor).

The line-up includes Snow Patrol, Mylo, The Streets, Muse (can anything good come out of Devon?), Primal Scream, Bloc Party, Dirty Pretty Things, Mystery Jets, Keane, Pink, Editors, Feeder, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, We are Scientists, Pete Tong, Judge Jules et al...

Brilliant brilliant stuff! Good old Aunt Beeb. We <3 your big handbags.

Goodbye Barney's (The Building At Least)

The 148-year old St Barnabas Broadway church building being gutted. (SMH and Sky News via SMH)

"The LORD giveth and the LORD taketh away. Blessed be the name of the LORD."

St Barnabas Broadway site
sydneyanglicans.net site

News Coverage
ABC News
Herald Sun
SMH here, here and here (video here and here)

Blog Murmurs
Cafe Dave
Craigs
Davo
deborahb
Duncan Aldridge
Jodi Mclaren
Justin Moffatt
mylla
One Salient Oversight
Shalom

Old Photos and Word Pictures
Signs of the times
1870s
Mr Eternity
Sunday night, 2005
Flickr pix here, here, here

"Oh, The Mercy of God" and Geoff Bullock

At a wedding last weekend, this song made a grown man cry (I envisioned a waltz in 3/4 time but that is another story):

Oh, The Mercy of God
Oh, the mercy of God, the glory of grace,
That You chose to redeem us, to forgive and restore,
And You call us Your children, chosen in Him
To be holy and blameless to the glory of God.

To the praise of His glorious grace,
To the praise of His glory and power;
To Him be all glory, honour and praise
Forever and ever and ever, amen.

Oh, the richness of grace, the depths of His love,
In Him is redemption, the forgiveness of sin.
You called us as righteous, predestined in Him
For the praise of His glory, included in Christ.

Oh, the glory of God expressed in His Son,
His image and likeness revealed to us all;
The plea of the ages completed in Christ,
That we be presented perfected in Him.

Geoff Bullock
Copyright © 1997 Watershed Productions/Kingsway's Thankyou Music

Before Darlene Zschech, there was Geoff Bullock. Geoff Bullock was a founding member of the church now known as Hillsongs and the author of many of their earlier songs. After his ousting from that church, the breakdown of his marriage and his involvement with a married woman, Geoff Bullock's new awareness of the sinfulness of man and in contrast, the wonder of God's grace has led to the re-writing of the lyrics to many of his songs:

The main reason for the rewrites is to simply take the focus from "what we do for God" to give us a sense of spiritual affirmation and placing it firmly on "what God has done and is doing for us". I am convinced that what I think, do or say about God will always prove my inability to be anything else but grace dependant. However, what God "thinks, does and says" about me is a miracle that can never be fully grasped. It is simply too wonderful. How could we ask this of the Creator of the universe. Thinking about it just spins me out. God.. do we really understand the enormity of those three letters…. God reduces himself to humanity so we can know and say:

"You have walked my path,
You have run my race
So I may never be the same again."

I just cannot say or sing it the other way anymore. I am totally stuffed if I do the walking and running. There's nothing to celebrate about my actions… but, what God does… can't stop celebrating.. just blows me away, and I have to ask myself whether we really understand it at all!!!

I didn't fall from grace, he says, I fell into it.

The index of Geoff Bullock's rewrites, includes ARPC favourites like "You Rescued Me", "The Power of Your Love", "This Kingdom". In his attempt to correct the false gospel of success and power and glitz and glamour, I'm not entirely sure there has been an adequate demonstration of a biblical understanding of the purpose and scope of God's grace and mercy and the place of his righteousness, majesty and power. But we can pray that, like all Christians, he will grow in his understanding of the God he so loves and depends on.

Geoff Bullock's new songs can be downloaded here.

Roy Clements, Persevering and Psalm 51

The May Day weekend was overcommitted and variously double-booked. Had to forcibly carve out some time out to prep Psalm 51 for this week's study. (Then, I lost track of the hours in the quietness of Tea Chapter and almost missed a family dinner, to the ire of those members who'd been reminding me, for several days prior to the event, NotToBeLate.)

One of the commentaries on Psalm 51 handed out during CLOBS showed a certain astuteness and insightfulness into the workings of the sinful human psyche. It was a great shock to discover that the author was none other than Roy Clements. And someone actually cried.

Prior to 1999, Roy Clements was a wonderfully influential preacher and teacher of the Bible. His ministry was international. He was a popular apologist and brought many people to saving faith in Christ. Thousands who'd never heard him speak were encouraged by the books he wrote. In 1999, he resigned from Eden Baptist Church, Cambridge. He told his wife that he had been in a relationship with a younger man, his research assistant, for several years. Then he left her and their children and went to live with his partner.

Recalls Gary Benfold:

I sat enraptured as the preacher completed his series on 2 Timothy. "Guard the gospel" he'd called the series, and it was the first expository preaching I had ever heard. I was so thrilled at the power of the Word that I began to hope that, one day, I too might be able to give my life to preaching. I remember so well as the preacher reached 4.7 ("I have fought a good fight; I have finished my course; I have kept the faith" - we all used the AV in those days), he stepped back from the makeshift pulpit, looked around the room and said:"When you're old, infirm and living in a rest-home and the students from the local Christian Union come to visit you, make sure you will be able to take their firm young hand in your frail old hand and fix their bright young eyes with your rheumy old eyes and say: "I have fought the fight; I have finished the race; there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness"."

There were times - many times - in those early days of my Christian pilgrimage when those words held me and brought me back to the road. I owe so much to that weekend's preaching; even now I'm profoundly moved as I recall it. It was more than 25 years ago; the preacher was Roy Clements, and it recently became public knowledge that he has left his wife for another man.

Even before I was Christian, I noticed that it was not the norm for professed Christians to stay in a right relationship with God. The years saw fervent ex-classmates who used to speak of nothing but God and salvation exchanging their beliefs for intimate relationships with non-Christian partners (of the same and opposite sexes) or the bitterness of being childless or the numbing comfort of a stable career, family and leadership positions in their local churches befitting their seniority.

In their time, some had been fearless and bold evangelists, clear about sin and salvation. Others had been amazing prayer warriors of unwavering faith, unafraid to depend on God for everything. The sort who were committed to finishing what they'd begun, who'd do their own homework and hand it in on time too. I the easily-bored introvert with the short-attention span specialising in copying homework, disrupting classes, and later, mumbly, somewhat inarticulate public prayers wondered how I could possibly make it through to my 77th birthday (assuming the statistical life expectancy for Singapore) if they didn't even manage to last the better part of a decade.

Well, Psalm 51 tells us we ain't gonna make it happen. For it's not just that all humans commit little sins, cheeky acts of rebellion against God, but that we are inherently sickeningly sinful, rotting and corrupted to the core of our very being, so that even when we were nothing but a bunch of cells clinging to our mothers' wombs we were already at war with God (Psalm 51:5). If we looked honestly at ourselves, past the strawmen-excuses of lousy genetics, stress and lack of proper upbringing, we come face-to-face with the terribly ugly person we would be ashamed to acknowledge as a distant uncle thrice removed, not to say our actual selves.

If we looked clearly at our own corrupt selves and then at God's face, holy, pure and true, we know that he will be absolutely right to condemn us to hell.

The shadows of this terrible condition beset us even after we come into a right relationship with God. Because we remain in this flesh. O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? moaned Paul the apostle (Romans 7:24). Thanks be to God that it is the initiative of God himself who in his infinite compassion and undeserved mercy called us to be his children and also gave us his Holy Spirit to indwell in us so creating in us a new heart, a new being that was not in existence before, a being that is actually capable of doing the will of the Father, who will also preserve us.

When I think about the groups of Christians I hang with: the leaders at CLOBS, the little prayer couples and triplets, the DGs, the one-on-one studies, the evangelistic-events, sports, games or food fellowships...I wonder how many of us current enthusiasts for the gospel will still stand in God in 10, 20, 50 years' time. 50 years is a long time, longer than we've been on this earth. How will we persevere?

Fortunately, it will be the same way we started, not (ultimately) by our own effort or our own work but depending the lovingkindness, the steadfast love, the covenantal faithfulness of the God who first called us, who accepts our useless broken and contrite hearts, trusting that he who knew us before we knew him will finish the good work he first began in us.

So John Chapman is fond of saying that the first 50 (the number keeps increasing) years are the hardest. So someone quoted David Jackman as saying that we must keep the communication channels open with those who seem to have fallen away because he has seen God turn the hearts of some back to him after 40 years.

And what can I do, O God of my salvation? My tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness (Psalm 51:14). O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise (Psalm 51:15). And with Jeremy Camp I sing: Wonderful, so wonderful is your unfailing love. No heart in this world will fully know how glorious, how beautiful you are. Beautiful one, my soul must sing (mp3). And it is impossible to keep this good news to myself, so I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will return to you (Psalm 51:13).