Friday, January 07, 2005

To all teachers...

For all you teachers out there, at the end of the first week of term, just starting to go through the gates of hel....I mean, just beginning to mould the future of the nation...

It's been doing the rounds in US colleges:

"Tricksy studentses. Hates them, precious, yesss, we hates them. Studentses, grubbing for gradeses, grubbing and ssscraping and ssneaking, and their heads sso empty-- ssssso empty, gollum, gollum. No brains. No scrumptiously crunchable brainses, no precious, jusst air and dussst. Dussst!

Hates them. Ssstupid sstudentses, don't even read the textbook, no preciouss. They writes, and writes, and sscrawls and scribbles-- our eyes, precious, we must ruin our poor eyeses on their scratchings-- but they don't think, do they, precious? They never thinksss. Gollum. No, no thinking for them, sstupid studentses. Too good for thinking, gollum But we'll show them, preciouss, yess.

Fail them. Fail them, precious. We can bleed bright red ink all over their nassssty homeworks, yesss, precious. We can fail the studentses. Make them cry. Make them weep and wail and sssob. Yesss.

Ssstudentss. Filthy, sstinking, ssstupid studentsss. We hatess them, we hates them forever!

Yess, precious. Gollum, gollum."

Alright. So you're Christian and you're supposed to love your students. But as the Alcoholic Anonymous approach goes (and the Bible's as well! though in a very different way), admission of powerlessness (and gollumness) is the first step to recovery. ;-)

Good going, guys! It's a mission field out there. Your darkest Africa.

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