Monday, March 12, 2007

Scholars Agree New Testament "Corinth" Actually Lost City of Singapore

12 March 4067
By N.E. Howe-Lah
Disassociated Press

A panel of 1,789 of the Sol System's pre-eminent archaeologists and biblical scholars have today unveiled fresh evidence that the Bible should be dated about 1,952 Earth years later than previously thought.

"It has been assumed, for the last few millennia, that the Apostle Paul wrote his letter to the Corinthians around 55 AD, according to Planet Earth's so-called Gregorian Calendar System," chirped Biblical Scholar ZX1894032,"however, a thorough study of a recently unearthed (pardon my little pun) time capsule demonstrates that Paul's letter, together with the rest of the New Testament, should be dated around 2007 AD."

The time capsule, a tin of greenish hue on which the letters "M", "I", "L", "O" are barely visible, has been found to contain newspaper cuttings and a paper magazine dated March 2007 AD, purporting to be from the lost city of Singapore.

Newspapers and magazine were printed on thin material made from a combination of recycled matter and wood pulp, and were not intended to last very long.
TimeOut Singapore
"It is more than obvious that Paul was actually writing to the Christians in Singapore, which he poetically named 'Corinth', bearing in mind the similarities in the cities' historical reliance on maritime trade, culture and economic drive mixed with superstition. The inaugural Singapore edition of the magazine, 'TimeOut', a popular ancient 'guide to a good time', proves that Singapore gained status as a cosmopolitan city and a great place to live by at least 2007 AD," beeped Archaeologist 7G900875TJ9,"the newspaper cuttings evidence the prevalence of sexual immorality, greed, idolatry, murder, intoxication which Paul writes about in his letters (and also rampant swindling by lawyers, which the New Testament terms 'Pharisees')."

"Besides, I have long suspected that the term for the citizens of Singapore, 'Singaporeans', was just a synonym for 'sinners'".

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2 Comments:

At March 13, 2007 2:29 pm , Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol....sounds a lot like our newspeak for one! shall we relish this momentous occasion with tango and fishing fr dusk til dawn?

-monashmonkey

 
At March 13, 2007 10:01 pm , Anonymous Anonymous said...

or panama!

 

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